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age
30-35,
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writes: Ill try to make this short.Well i used to have this bf, and we had went out twice he broke up with me the first time and i broke up with him the second time.So basically we have history.Even though we werent together we liked eachother a lot.One night got into some sexual stuff with his friend and it was a mistake and he found out.To this day he doesnt talk to me. He told me he hated me and in a way i think i deserve it because i can tell i hurt him.But he shows his pain with anger.So he started to call me a bop and a whore.He was the first bf to ever tell me he really loved me and i screwed it all over.ive tried to aplogize and it just never worked and he told me that he doesnt want anything to do with me.everytime i tell my friends about the story they say im the bad one.And im not saying im the victim but i wish someone would understand that im unbelieveably sorry..but i can understand that maybe i shouldnt be forgiven.But i want to get over him so i can start a new life and i wont be so sad everytime i think about him.So should i tell him the way i feel or should i leave him be?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u so much
i learned from that mistake a long time ago and i havent done oral in a long time and i dont plan on doing it again for awhile
but i enjoyed reading urpost thank u, u really helped me see more of myself...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Well Christine, you have gotten yourself a bit of a reputation at school for being easy or fast or a slut...all unpleasant words. Hooking up with boys is the thing these days with girls and guys, but the bad thing is it leads to hurt feelings because you can unhook just as quickly and that leads to feeling used.
Most guys don't respect girls who give them or other guys sexual favors, especially so easily and casually. It isn't as cool as you thought it would be, right? Well, I am sorry, you have learned a hard lesson. You don't need this boy's forgiveness and he is operating from a double standard that will not go away anytime soon because of the differences between men and women and our respective biologies. Men value loyal, faithful women, but they will try everything to get into your pants....a test for you, a win/win for him. It's unfair, but it is the way it is.
You just need to forgive yourself, and move on. Don't tell him how you feel, he will just use that to further hurt and humiliate you and you don't deserve that. Just learn from this and vow to conduct yourself as a young lady in the future and have more respect for yourself and your body and realize that you are a precious gift that must be earned through trust and respect and loving behavior, not given freely as a matter of course.
Take care.
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