A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi to everyone,i have problems with my younger sister,infact the WHOLE FAMILY has problems with her.shes always been trouble ever since we were kids and has a very nasty streak,she bullied my younger brother and sister as children.she is now in her 40s her life is a mess.she goes out with one loser after another.if you dare to give her advice she snaps at you and has had several bustups over the years.the rest of the family gets on fine,she is the always at the centre of any trouble.the latest disaster being that she got herself pregnant by a guy whos 50 and told her clearly he didnt want kids and he still lives with his ex?she couldnt manipulate him and had him bullied into giving her the money for an abortion.myself and my other sister have had big rows with her and no longer speak to her and cant stand the sight of her.infact id go as far to say we hate her!!our main worry is that she is burdening out 70yr old mother with her massive problems and my mum has even told me she tells her intimate details of her sex life which embarasses her? she even had the cheek to say she,d trained my mum to step in for her at work(which is very hard)incase she has the baby or decides to have an abortion???she is feared in the town we live in and is known to use violence to get her own way.now its affecting my social life as she seems to be attending events where she know i may be with our other sister.as far as i know she has the money from this poor guy to have an abortion but today i heard shes planning on going to the same party ill be at?it doesnt make sense as we thought shed be concerned about her health etc.she is a heavy drinker and has already said being pregnant wont stop her (nice ayy?)i dont want anything to do with her and im not sure how to tell her this is she approaches me as she is a nasty piece of work.we already havent spoke for over a year but she said hello at a family gathering.i want her out of my life completely but not sure how to do it as she is a nasty bully and would think nothing of causing a scene.any advice would be much aprreciated!
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abortion, at work, bullied, his ex, money, sex life, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Just let YOUR HATRED keep you away!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbrilliant advice from everyone,and its soo right that aslong as we are all still talking about her and angry she will still yield some power,i have talked to her for a year.she constantly gets angry with anyone who talks about her but has already told 6 people not to tell the others then wonders why shes gosspiped about.her ex died in bad circumstances and she was so disliked she wasnt allowed to the funeral!!!thanks for advise im taking a back seat again and if she gets mouthy and starts with me i will call the police,thankyou very much to you all!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 August 2010):
 I tend to agree with the others. Let her go about ruining her own life, and keep out of her way. If you think she will be at a social venue, stay away for a while. If you must be around her, don't speak to her at all. If she starts to kick up a fuss, tell her in no uncertain terms that if she doesn't leave you alone then you will call the police (and do that if she gets stroppy). I think you have to keep an eye on your elderly mother and her role in all this. She will be stronger against your sister if you and your other relatives visit her often to reinforce the message that the girl is trouble, and you are there for her. It is also up to your mother to tell her own daughter not to discuss sensitive matters with her if it upsets her. I think your mother will draw strength from her other daughters who have turned out well. It is a sad situation but as the old saying goes 'You cannot pick your family, just your friends!'. I don't get along with my brother at all so you have my sympathy! It is best to put the anger and resentment in the past, but physically avoiding them helps a great deal with healing and detaching yourself from them.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 I agree with askoldersister no one in the family should give this girl anything. Cut off all information, money, support of any kind. Close ranks around your mother as this will be hard on her. The mother and child bond is hard to break for the mother she will find it difficult to change the relationship. You all need to be polite to her and no more. Treat her like a work aquaintance who works in a different department and you only know a little bit.
Good luck this will be hard but you will get there. My husbands family have gone through something similar with an aunt.
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A
female
reader, blue_eyes1981 +, writes (13 August 2010):
 If you seriously want her out of your life then you could try getting an Injuction taken out against her but there would have to be reasonable grounds in teh eyes of the law for you to be granted one.
If that is not the case then just ignore her completely. If she does cause any scenes or is violent towards you, you have the perfect grounds to get the injunction.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 Sometimes the only thing that can get us out of a situation like this is physical distance. Moving away. Sure, it would be easier for everyone if she just moved away, but that's very unlikely to happen.
Maybe she'll do something that will land her in jail. Does she do anything illegal that you could report her for?
I wish I had something better to offer.
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