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I want him for nothing other then pure passion, but could we remain friends?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2008)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ok i need help!! i'm with my man for years now and i love him to bits don't get me wrong.

but there's this guy who's in the same situation as me and we both want eachother soooo much, just for sex like! we always tell eachother that it cant happen but wen we text it gets so hot and heavy!! i really want him but for nothing other then pure passion. help!! what do i do? i want to stay friends with this guy cos we do get along but what do we do about this huge sexual attraction?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

I sure wish Cherriepie lived near me and wanted to get a hotel together. I like your thinking girl.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (12 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntRemove yourself from this temptation if you want to stay with your man.

You will complicate your life and bring all those pains and hurts into your relationship.

There will be regrets and remorse and what is done , cannot be undone.

Walk away if you love that man.

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A male reader, Paladin United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

Paladin agony auntDo it already. You know you want to and the longer you wait the greater the chances you have of getting caught with the text messages. If you don't hook-up you will probably regret it. Who knows maybe it will be great and maybe you'll be disppointed. Hope you have fun and do your best to keep it private for now.

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntYou cant deny the fact that you want to fuck each other, so I say go for it. there's no harm in just sex, as long as you have your head together. You may up really liking him then its bye bye boyfreind...oh well. But dont be shy, be adults and get a motel room. At the very least you may be fuck buddies with him and be nice friends. If your boyfriend finds out thats another story, so just be careful ok. Good luck hun and have fun.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2008):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi. Imagine the day your man finds out you're cheating. What's his face like? And his eyes?

How would his voice sound?

And what will you say to him?

What sort of guy is your man who you love to bits. How would he confront you?

Or will he catch you two cheaters together?

You have been together for years , so you would know what sort of temperament he is.

Could there be a fight? Would he disappear?

Or is he the sort to try and kill himself?

Maybe you'll find out soon.

Good luck

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (12 March 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntYou are always, in every relationship that you have, occasionally going to be attracted to someone other than your life partner, it's just human nature. What you do about it next is what actually defines your character and whether or not you live by the words that you use in your relationships with other people, and with yourself.

The fact that you are VERY attracted to your friend now and think that you can sleep with him to satisfy these urges is something that you can pretty much count on changing if you sleep with him. Women do tend to get their hearts involved once they sleep with a man - and he is already a friend - so it would be very easy for him to become much more than that. I suspect that you would fall in love if you do sleep together. The chemistry that is driving this attraction is also going to make you bond with him if you sleep with him.

I think that if you are in a committed relationship, you have to have boundaries that you and your boyfriend are both willing to respect, whether or not you are engaged, living together or married. It's just part of being in a relationship. You need to very carefully reconsider what you are thinking about. You need to take a long hard look at the reasons why you are even considering doing this.

If the tables were turned and you were the partner who was going to be cheated on, wouldn't you rather have had your partner tell you that he was leaving because it wasn't working any more, or that he had already been cheating on you and that he was in love? Do you really, actually love your current boyfriend if you can treat his affections with so little consideration?

I think that you have a lot of thinking to do, and that you should wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it if thoughts of the other guy creep into your head. You have crossed the line and are having an emotional affair right now, so you should probably not be speaking with the friend that you are attracted to at all until you figure all of this out, because it is already, in a sense, cheating on your boyfriend.

If I were you, I'd make a list and figure out who you want to be with. If you are single and don't have children together, nothing is written in stone. I would beg you to consider that the thrill of a new love is always enticing and you might be chasing this relationship like a junkie if you are only in it for the thrill. You need to sit yourself down and figure out where you heart truly lies and who you will be happy to share your future with. Take good care of yourself with the decisions that you make for yourself. I wish you the everything that you would wish for yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

The passion in your sexual inuendos is probably way more exciting that the actual sex would be. Honestly, your already cheating on your man by having these types of convos. with the other guy. Either move on with this new guy or give it up. Your main guy deserves all of you and the whole truth,if you couldn't tell him about the things your talking about with dude #2 then you shouldn't be doing it to begin with.

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