A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My BF and I for 2 years always fight for petty reasons. We belong to different religions. We have huge character differences. His parents have long wanted him to severe ties with me but he risked it all for me and still pursued the relationship. We love each other, we admit.We broke up after a huge fight and I want him back badly. I am willing to set the differences aside. He says is not as willing as I am, especially the part concerning religion. Plus, instincts tell me that there’s another girl. But he still texts me, calls me up, visits me at home, sleeps with me, tells me that he loves me, etc.I don’t want to get myself converted as of the moment. He didn’t do anything to make me want to convert. He just tells me that my beliefs are hell wrong. He says that there’s a possibility that he’d go back to me if I have myself converted. I’m just not convinced about their religion yet, and I’m not strong enough to take that huge switch. I don’t think that he deserves such risk, as well. I’m just so gloomy and vulnerable at this time because I got lots of different problems at home too. But I love him and that makes me want to convert. There's just too many things in between us right now - from how to get him back, to stop him from seeing the other girl, to thwarting his aggressive behavior, to stopping myself from worrying too much about the relationship. I need some advice, please?
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female
reader, floater  +, writes (20 July 2008):
No one should expect their partnet to change their religion for them. You're not expecting the same from him, right? Relationships should be equal. Confront him about being distant from you, and if he's aggresive towards you, there's one simple answer: ignore him until he stops. No man should be allowed to get away with aggression to a woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): What religion are we talking about? were you baptised?usuming this is a Christan Religion. But the thing is it would be wrong for you to just pertend to be a religion just to please someone. You need to find religion yourself otherwise it will not count if you do not truely believe. You really should figure out were your spirituality stands.Perhaps attending his church or talking to a Priest could give you some insite. Remember it's you who has to believe. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Religions are like roads to god. It doesn't matter which road you take, you'll end up at the same destination. The important thing is to take a road and follow it until the end.
No god will stop two people who loves each other to be together. People have their belief, I have mine, you have yours. You can't force yourself to belief in something if your heart tells you it's not the right thing to do.
Seems to me like he wants to change you, he can't and shouldn't force you to. It must come from the heart.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 I believe that a cornerstone of any relationship is seeing the other person as she or he is, respecting that, and making a deliberate effort to work something out despite the differences. Nobody is just like yourself, and that's so right. There's always some need to give in a bit, but you can't expect to change the very foundations of a person.
Forcing someone to adapt to your way is perhaps the worst mistake you can make, and maybe a proof that the other person isn't really in love with your whole you, only with parts of you. It's also the way of the abusive: "change this for me or else".
It is clear you love him, but you can't make your differences aside. They will always exist. Both him and you need to work a relationship out despite those differences.
As to religion, I think that anyone who is really religious won't think that you can't change your beliefs that easily. To me, being religious means you truly believe in what that religion holds as true. If you just follow another religion's practices, but are not convinced they tell the truth, well, you're doing nothing.
If you think there's another girl, then religion is perhaps the smallest of your problems. It could even be just the excuse he needs to dump you.
Maybe this will sound too easy, but I believe you should tell him that he needs to take you as you are, "wrong" or not. You will take him as he is, "right" or not. Why can't he do the same?
I also believe that you don't need to thwart anybody's aggresive behavior. If they keep their aggressiveness to you, what you do is dump them.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (28 May 2008):
 i understand ure problem and it is very difficult to answer but if we stick to what is simple we can find a way of justifying what is write for u to do. no u obviously have 2 choices. u can convert to his religeon and he will take u back. im sure he doesnt realy want u to have to convert but because of like u said conflicting characters and believes, u have to in order for him to be in a stable relationship without problems. now religeon is very important to some people the meaning of thier god gives them faith and believe in other aspect of thier life. now humans nutrauly get on with people they are alike and smilar to but you and him have 1 conflicting belief and intrest. now as an unreligeous person. i go out with unreligeous people and the relationships work because there both intrested in sport or books or whatever. religion doesnt come into it. we are at the end of the day humans and at some point in life we are going to die. i dont see the sense in bieng on earth just to prove that u shud go to a certain place when u die or a certain thing happens when u die. its seems like life is jus pointless then. coz ure basicly jus living to die. so set aside ure religeous beliefs. convert if u feel its important that ure with him. ure two humans that are in love and ure alive fore another 60+ years so do what u have to do to get what u realy feel u need or want !!!!!!!
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