A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I haven't had many sexual partners (4) but I am not a sexually inexperienced or unadventurous person. But I have always faked orgasms with all my boyfriends and I am ashamed to say I have never, not even once, had an orgasm through sex. I can certainly achieve orgasm via masturbation but for some reason puts me off when I have a guy watching me. It is almost like guys expect it so much, I have to fake it to satisfy them and end up not feeling fulfilled myself. I am starting a new relationship at the moment- do I tell my man the truth? I am worried that I may never be able to orgasm through sex- and maybe he will 'stop trying'- it happpened with my last boyfriend. Anyone been through this and come out the other side satisfied?? ;)If so please let me know the secret- I am fed up with everyone else having great sex apart from me!
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female
reader, lilmisse2424  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 The best thing to do is just tell him the truth and stop faking it! Not too many guys would like a girl to fake when they have sex. Secondly, you have to decide what is best for you to have an orgasm. If there is something that makes you masturbate, well then use that when you and your boyfriend do it. Your boyfriend shouldn't give up, ut who knows, maybe he may find a way that may tingle you to have an orgasm. Good luck
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 hey chicken, well ive been with my bf for almost 4 yrs and had never orgasmed through sex until we found a wonderful invention known as the vibrator!! he is completely fine knowing that it was harder for a woman to climax from sex than it is for a man. the truth is, that the g spot (located inside the vagina) seems to be like no mans land!! alot of men fail to hit it, and alot just slide right past it! try oral sex, stimulating youself while having sex with you fingers or a vibrator etc, and different positions. be honest with your new man aswell, or else you will be giving him false happiness and denting his ego if you fake. check out sexinfo101.com for tips, positions, and other on pleasing women. hope this helps xxx
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 February 2008):
 You are not the least bit unusual. Female orgasm is almost always a result of stimulation of her clitoral "complex," largely centered around the clitoral bud and it's shaft, but also extending into other areas of her vulva, including the labia (lips), surrounding areas and, to a lesser degree, the vaginal canal.
The vagina is a wonderful place to comfort and please a penis, and to accept and protect a deposit of male sperm for conception, but it poorly serves female orgasm.
Stimulation of the woman's vulva (mostly surface features and hidden as well) is usually required to arouse her passions and bring a female to sexual release. All the sensitivity and necessary physiology is there, but few men know much about how it all works or what to do about it.
Abundant oral stimulation of a woman's vulva, eventually focusing on the clitoris and shaft, is the most effective route to a female orgasm, aided by finger and penile stimulation as well. It's a combination of touch, moisture, warmth, pressure pace, variety and pace.
Much has been known about female orgasm through history, but much was repressed through the Victorian era even until today, resulting in a culture of men and women largely ignorant of the phenomenon.
Penile penetration of the vagina alone is but the final act that, when desired, may lead to conception, and it usually satisfies the male partner's sexual appetite, but serves little to stimulate full female orgasm.
If you have a man willing to explore, enter "cunnilingus' into the search field at the top of this page. Much of what you will find is enlightening.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): 1st, Yes tell him the truth and don't fake it any more! If he loves you he will accept the challenge and do what it takes to learn how to make you Orgasm. And don't be afraid to let him know what you like by being louder when he is getting it right and quieter when he is not. My wife does this and I always have to use my fingers 1st to get her going. She seems to have the best time if I bring her to the brink multiple times with oral and/or fingers 1st. It seems to make her internal hot spot that much more sensitive and receptive to my toy :) What really seems to wok well is to then use my finger to get her g-spot really going a few times, normally not long after she is begging me to put mine in and finish the job. Good luck, relax, and tell the truth!
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A
female
reader, didapoo +, writes (19 February 2008):
 I agree with rcn, there is no science to it, you just gotta decide what feels best. What ever makes you orgasm via masturbation, use that to guide you in sex. Also, your boyfriend should never "stop trying". If you cant come, he should try something else. EVERY man I have been with has always made an active effort to make sure I "got my rocks off", so dont worry. Itll happen when you relax
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Honey! I never had a real one till I got a vibrator 2 years ago. I am 47.Its not that I dont enjoy sex, I really do. But its just that I always feel self conscious, even with the partner I am with now, who I love so dearly. The worst thing is! I didnt know that I hadnt had one, I always got this warm feeling and thought I had. Anyway, no-one has ever noticed so I guess its just my secret. LOL.XX
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 February 2008):
 I need to wake my mind up first thing in the morning. The heading "Please Help" the first thing that came to mind was "well OK, and your address is?" lol
Your a bit self conscious. I was too when I hadn't much experience. This is true. I had a girl call my name, and I stopped and said "what?"
Realize, sex is not about how too, or if doing something wrong, or not having the experience. It's about enjoying the other person, and making them feel good. That goes on both sides. I'd always please her and make sure my partner had at least one, before we really got started. If it meant much more forplay, then so be it.
Just relax. There is no science to it, you'll find what works for you. There is no school to perfect it either. Be yourself and enjoy being who you're with.
Take care.
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