A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can someone please help me out. I have been dating this guy that I once dated before. So getting to know each other would not be a deal. We were so happy getting back together. About a week ago his calls and txt messages had stopped. Even when I would txt him he wouldnt even txt back so i left him a message and said that I' gonna back off. Two days later he txted me like nothing was wrong. But somthing was different about his whole tone, he would say hey baby, boo ect or something it was dry like whats good. I asked whats going on wit u lately he said that he has been depressed and had alot in his mind. So I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said I really dont feel comfortable talking to u about it I was like wow but Im your women but he still would talk about it. Now this is the killer the next day which was yesterday her txted me and asked for a loan and I was gonna loan it to him but I began to think and I told him that I aint slow nor stupid and not into playing games wit people and he got mad and was like i came to u for help and this is how u act and said he wasnt goona call me anymore. What I need to know is if I went about it the wrong way or was a correct should I tell him that i was jumpin the gun or know what i did was wrong i think I know the answer i just wanted a little help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioneveryone is so right for one I dont even have a job in the first place he has two jobs so in the long run he things that I am a fool but I am not I didnt make it to 36 for nothing I guess people will try u at any risk...
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 March 2010):
Well this says it all, doesn't it. You didn't loan him the money, so he stopped contact. Don't date him again, he's only after using you.
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A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Just don't do it--That simple, if hes mad because you won't loan him money, then it isn't love--DON'T DO IT-and know your response could have been handled differently but the resoult should be the same no-you worked for your money -- let him work for his---If you become blind enough and do it GET IT IN WRITTING, AMOUNT, SPECIFIC PAYBACK TERMS (not when he gets a job), AND A FIRM TIME FRAME--If you not convince just watch Judge Judy!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (30 March 2010):
Just don't do it--That simple, if hes mad because you won't loan him money, then it isn't love--DON'T DO IT
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 A fool and his money will soon be parted.
If anyone comes with a sob or hardship story and wants a loan from you , don't entertain them even if they are very good friends. Tell them to go to the bank.
When a man is drowning , he will grasp at any straws. Even his best friends, he won't care as long as he can get hold of the money.
You certainly did right by refusing his request. You were business like.
Friends is one thing and money is another. They don't mix. You can lose a friendship if those two are mixed together.
If you loan him the money , you may not see him and your money again.Now you will not see him but you still have your money...
Better you be angry and I am happy
than me angry and you be happy!
Those words were a bit harsh. You could have politely told him that you don't (white lie) have the money to lend him. He would then look else where for the sacrificial lamb.
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A
female
reader, jkobeska +, writes (30 March 2010):
I completely agree with the other person!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): well what does he need the money for? He could be in trouble I guess.. In fact that should have been your first question.
But chances are he just wants to use you for your money, to help him out of a situation he could get himself out of if he had the proper motivations and planning. There are a lot of people like that out there.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (30 March 2010):
No, you're completely RIGHT in this situation. He blew you off for about a week and wants to give you some sob story about how he's so "depressed" and that he can't even talk to you about it...then asks you for money!? What POS are you dating?
You are smart to not loan him any money. If you did, you'd be crazy. Let him not talk to you, he sounds like someone that you'd be better off not having in your life anyway.
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