A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:He and I have been dating for 4 months, but known each other for 5 years. We actually dated for a year, but remained friends all this time. On wednesday while we were out to dinner, I told him that I love him. He didnt say it back, but he said that those words made him afraid. He told me he really really likes me a whole heck of a lot and cares very deeply for me. He does show his "love" and commitment for me, ..... but he didnt say it back. Now I just feel foolish and I have no idea how to act of what to say to him.Did I "jump the shark"? Should I have kept my mouth shut?What now? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I think you are beating yourself up for no reason. Give him time. He knows how you feel now, and I think thats a good thing. I really believe that "actions" do indeed speak louder than words. And if everything you wrote is correct, there is no doubt in my mind that he loves you too. Just because he didn't say those 3 little words doesn't love you.Good Luck!Jeff
A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Love doesn't have to be said, he'll say it when he's ready. If his eyes show it to you, then that'll be enough. Wait. Be patient for him to say it because one day he might and it will be tons more romantic and he will as long as his eyes show you that. Just jump all the way in there, say it once more and make him see it's the best feeling and nothing to be afraid of. Tell him you'll love him for all he is and that'll be enough. Don't depend on him though, be able to stand on your own two feet and he'll recognise that you're the greatest girl in his life. If not, it's not the end of the world, at least you gave it a shot and don't be ashamed of it, just say that it's like that, you love him and so be it and you can of course still back out without getting too hurt. It's just a leap you took and you'll know sooner or later what it ends up like but good or bad, it's not a bad thing to say to anyone. Try to be strong enough to be able to say it without expecting it back :) and say it again and again and with a little luck you'll be returned the compliment. Nothing can go wrong saying that at this point. It's now or never, right? At least you took the chance and it won't be the end if he doesn't feel the same way, at least you still got a great friend and build up your friendship instead if it can't be love. Love is anywhere and who knows, maybe years from now when you're still friends he'll change his mind and fall for you hard.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Good for you...you're in touch with your feelings. It's always best to be honest about what you feel and to say it. Life is too short to wonder if you did the right thing. Of course you did. You felt it so you said it. Please don't feel foolish just because he did not say it back. How do you act going forward? The same. These are not words to take back, though you probably do not want to make an issue of this and do not make him say it back to you. Love is almost always unbalanced at any given time. It's a give and a take. Right now, you're giving. But from what you said, his actions are speaking his words of love. Just continue with the flow. Lots of people are afraid to say the words even though they feel them.
...............................
A
female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (25 January 2010):
 You have known him for some time and at the least you are good friends . You are old enought to know your heart and if you love him don't regret telling him. You know love is serious business and you were right to speak your heart, but listen to what he says to you, don't read more into it because it is your desire. He might not love you, I put a few years into a relationship waiting to hear I Love You, he never said it because he didn't. I know he cared for me alot, but thats not love. Be yourself, you don't need to feel foolish, if you care for him that much give him more time, his feelings might grow into love and friendship is a good place to start. Think about how much time you want to invest in him before you move on. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 An innocent admittance won't do any harm . . .
I love you has been said so many times, often at the wrong times, with ulterior motives and intentions. When you utter them all of a sudden, people don't know what to expect anymore. Don't bring up the L word anymore. Save it for the right Kodak moment.
He probably thinks it's sweet of you to say this because it's so unexpected. Instead of saying it, show it and the words will mean so much more. Real love is never foolish.
...............................
|
