A
male
age
30-35,
*laya turned lovestruck
writes:Ok so theres this girl 'L' and she was being messed around by one of my best friends 'P' she thinks she loves him, i think she infatuated, and she was coming to me for advice and I helped her out as best I could, but last week having been with this girl talking for hours I realised I liked her in a girlfreind sort of way, I felt really sorry for her because she is always crying about how 'P' treats her, and I've spoke to 'P' about her and he says he's not interested but is just using her for sex. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this but now she's been a friend and now I like her I do care. I told her how I felt and she said she liked me too but was too messed up with the 'P' situation, she knows what he is doing but still can't let him go, all I wanna do is make her happy which she isn't being P's shag-piece. She doesn't want me to talk to 'P' and try to sort it out but I think I should as P and L's friend not as me liking her point of view, if 'P' would commit to her and make her happy I wouldn't have a problem with that but I know he doesn't want that. What should I do??
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male
reader, Playa turned lovestruck +, writes (11 July 2007):
Playa turned lovestruck is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx 4 all the advice everyone, I went to see her tonight I, she justs wants some space and for me to not get too involved so i'm gonna take a back seat 4 a bit and see if she realises wot she's missing, still gonna hav a chat with p though I dont want him messing her head upthanks 4 everything keep em comindeano
A
male
reader, Tipster  +, writes (11 July 2007):
ahhhh you've been stuck in the 'friend zone', Noooooo
Unfortunately, and girls on here may not agree with me on this, but L is actually attracted by the fact that P is playing her. He's a challenge and you are the nice guy whom she could easily have, sad but true. If you really like her chances are your going to get your heart broken. However, if you really want to be her shoulder to cry on then eventually you will probably end up with some of P's sloppy seconds, that's pretty much a given.
Do yourself a favor and don't play Dr Phil with your buddy, after all he's just having a good time. Girl's tend to stop being attracted to assholes when the reach their mid 20's, so you've got something to look forward to.
Cheers!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): "She knows what he is doing but still can't let him go." You do seem to care for her because you say if he'd make her happy you wouldn't interfere. Unfortunately she seems to be in the category of persons that even knowing the truth prefer to lie to themselves. That's dangerous, wandering in a labyrinth of lies having the key to escape and not doing it. If you talk to her about it again, be discreet, don't insist on your feelings - or she'll be unwillingly associating the advice with advantages you seek. Probably at the phase she is in she has the impulse to be grateful for bad advice that would encourage her to keep on lying to herself, but that's even worse than lying to others, it's the saddest lie, tell her that. What can you do? Talk firstly to that boy, how selfish of him. Make an appeal to his humanity, tell him about your feelings for her and ask him to step back, he's one of your best friends you say. Have an honest talk, you want to make her happy, he doesn't. Then let some time decide, and if it doesn't work out, you'll have to move on... We can't wait a century for the others to open their eyes, but who knows...
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
Why don't you talk to your friend P and tell him since you have got to know L you have actually fallen for her and you don't want him hurting her feelings anymore...
If he is a true friend he will stay well away and will understand...
As for L you have told her how you feel and she has said she likes you too, so give her time to move on if she doesn't she is a fool as your prepaired to give her something P will never do.....
Wishing you luck babes
Love Donna xx
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