A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I like a girl but i don't know if she will ever feel the same as i upset her before. I first met this girl about five years ago. She was a friend of my sister and we started going out mainly as a group of four and although we seemed to get on well we never really got things going between us. The evenings out got less and less and about two years ago she met someone else and we lost contact for a while.That relationship ended after about a year and we met up again at a party early last year. Over the next few months we saw each other again at a few other parties and we obviously got talking again. At the same time i was having an affair with a married woman i worked with and although this girl only saw us in each others company a couple of times she suspected there was something going on. At my sisters's birthday party we got really close to each other. We danced together for a couple of hours. Later that week she asked me out. The affair with my workmate had just ended by then so as as i was a free agent we went out a few times and got very close. We kissed and cuddled on her sofa for hours one night. I thought we were going places.For some reason I decided to tell her about my affair with my workmate and although she suspected it she took the moral high ground and was very upset with me and wondered how i could do such a thing. As a result we didn't see each other for quite a while but we did stay in contact by the odd text. The last few months though we have been out again a few times and we seem to be getting on much better. I certainly feel like i'm falling for her, but i'm not sure if she feels like that or whether she will never look upon me as anything more than a friend. I certainly never get an offer to go back into her house after a night out anymore.What should i do? Will she never properly forgive me for what i did so its not worth thinking we could have a future together. Or should i bite the bullet and ask her out. I don't want to lose her completely. Maybe if she ever felt anything for me then things would have happened when we first met. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, NenaUnique  +, writes (21 January 2007):
 yea i have to agree with Salser..you did lost trust in that woman..i think you should talk to her about how you are feeling..and your feelings for her.
i agree completly with Salser (your last post) you should ask her out to eat or something and there you see how the moment is going find the best time to talk to her..if she tries to change the converstation then she really doesnt want to get to that topic,oviously.
A
female
reader, zecky +, writes (21 January 2007):
honestly i don't know. this is complicated and despite everything you need to know to take care of yourself. maybe you should just go for it and ask her out - go get coffee or something and talk about what is making you uncomfortable to her and ask her anything you feel needs to be asked. see what happens and hey maybe she'll say yes! take care, go with what your gut says - but give her time. All the best,
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A
female
reader, salsere +, writes (21 January 2007):
She has lost trust in you.
You telling her about you sleeping with a married woman broke the trust you once had.
you do have a history with this girl and maybe she thought she knew you better than she did, it may have came as a big shock when you told her about the married woman.
Bite the bullet ask her out, and when you get a chance explain to her, your not a dirty dog really and you would NEVER cheat on your own girlfriend, explain you cant go back, whats done is done and you have learned from the experience of having an affair with a married woman.
reassure her that you wouldnt do it again.
Make her feel like she is the only important woman in your life and i am sure she will come round. after all you wasnt together at the time so whats happened has happened.
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