| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriends mum is an alcoholic. She openly drinks in front of others but doesnt think she has a problem and claims that a "few" glasses of wine relax her after work. she can easily have a whole bottle to herself and regularly buys between 4 and 6 bottles of wine to "stock up" so she has a constant supply. My boyfriend is 17 and his mum is a single parent. He has regular contact with his dad who is so good to him although he lives quite a way from him he makes every effort to stay in contact with his son. My boyfriends mum regularly gets aggressive and he has to literaly lock himself in his room to avoid her. He gets quite upset about this and it has started to effect his college work he spends hours doing his homework or coursework during any free time he has in college hours because it is next to impossible for him to do this at home because of his mum. He has talked to other family members about it and (especially his mum's relatives) they bury their head in the sand and either blame his mums problem on his dad when they divorced or they make it sound like hes over-reacting and there's no real problem and he can just stick it out till hes old enough to buy place of his own. I told him to tell his dad but theres nothing he can do because he lives so far away and his ex-wife refuses to have any contact with him. My boyfriend has been on anti-depressents since he was 14 or 15 and he still gets so depressed over his college work and his mums problem. He is at the point of despair and i am really worried about him. he has given up asking for help because he gets told to "get on with it" where ever he turns. I am tempted to get social services involved but im worried that it could make things worse and he wouldn't appreciate that. He has had the police come round to his house because of neighbours complaining about him and his mum arguing but nothing ever came of it. She has threatened to accuse him of beating her up even though she knows full well he would never lay a finger on her. He is only 17 and doesn't need this. i wish i could help him more but i really need some advice on how i can do this right without making the situation worse. please help i hate to see him like this
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alcoholic, depressed, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, neighbour Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Don't you contact social services. He has to make the decision to get out of this situation himself. What you could do however is suggest that he gets his Dad involved. His Dad has a duty as a parent to protect him and if it's really that bad should have him to live with him. You say the father lives far away and I know you probably don't want to suggest this as it might mean an end to your relationship but I think you have to act selflessly for your boyfriend here and trust he'll stay with you.
CD
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