A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im gona try to be as short as possible. The thing is. .i've told a guy (who s 3years older than me) that i liked very much that i loved him over the internet. Sadly he didnt feel the same way or he was pretending. Anyway what i want to know is 'was it a bad decision? or which advice could i use in future? Plz help me on this, i feel stupid at times an some of my senses are telling me that this aint normal. Any female with the same experience? (thank you)
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 I'm sorry, that last post was really hard to read and understand.
The reason you can't speak with him is because you are nervous and anxious about speaking to him. You've never had a conversation with him face to face, so any of the ideas you have about how he is and what he's like are mostly imagined by you. So you've basically created the guy you are too shy to talk to face to face.
I think one way to get over that is to stop looking at him through the lens of crush and instead look at him through the lens of reality... In reality you don' know him well enough to have feelings for the guy he is, you have feelings for the guy you hope he is. Open your eyes and look at him as though you were someone else entirely, someone older with more life experience. I think you'd see a difference there.
Staring at someone could be considered a flirtation. It could also mean someone needs his eyes checked and a new pair of glasses or contacts. A guy who stares could also be a player who has figured out how to do the bare minimum and get girls to imagine they see more in his silence than there is.
Sorry I can't comment on the rest of the post, it's just too hard to read and I don't feel I understand what you are trying to say.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): i do know the guy and he knows me2, we used to school together but we never really had a conversation. Im afraid of talking to him face 2 face, i just lose my breath when i c him c0z of this feelings i have for him. The reason ive decided to tell him what i feel s because, he stares at me like for a lng tym. It makes me nervous n i think that s how ive developed feelings for him plus he s a charma.. I realy believd that he felt the same way according to the way he behaved. I really love this guy or maybe lust him, i just dont know what exactly this is. Its so strange n scary 4me, i jus neva felt sumthng lyk this b4. I knw ive met many hot guys but with him there s sumthng i dnt undastnd. It makes it even m0re c0mplicatd. Evrytym i c him, i try to hide or act lyk im the happiest girl on earth even though i knw dt deep inside im hurt. He askd 4 ma pics b4 n i thnk myb he likd me aswel buh ddnt wnt to be honest wit me. .myb i scared him away. Since ths whole thng, ive changd i jus culdnt act maslf anymr. I nid to b maslf agn, i wana b d person i ws before al ds. Help me out aunts. xoxo
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2012):
Sorry to hear you made yourself vulnerable and found that the feelings weren't reciprocated, that must have been very hard. You were brave but I think the next time you have strong feelings about a guy, wait until you have spent at least 3 months as a dating couple before confessing love. You can have a big crush on someone but until you two are really and truly a couple, admitting you have strong feelings for him will lead to heartbreak.
So, yes, perhaps it was a bad decision but fretting about that now won't change what happened. Just learn from this that being too open and too trusting early on with a guy you don't know very well isn't a good idea in the future, okay?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Whether this was good or bad depends on how long you had been in contact, and whether you had met this person before or not. We know you told him you loved him while online, but we don't know the rest.
If this was a person you didn't really know, then this was not wise.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 You are feeling that way because telling a cyber-friend you love him is not a good idea. Having an online "relationship" is ok as long as you use the experience as a diversion and not something major in your life. As many aunts and uncles have said on here before, online relationships can be dangerous. You do not really know if this guy is who he says he is. Sure, you think you love him, but you may not even know him. You simply cannot believe anything people tell you online. Also, to say that you love someone you have never met is stretching reality a bit. I don't want to be rude, but it is hard enough getting to know someone in person when you get to see his behaviors, attitudes, values, etc. You don't get to see those things online. All you can do is take his word that he is a great guy. He is smart not to say "I love you" back because he does not really know you. Please be careful with spending so much of your life online with someone you think you trust. We've had many people on here who have gotten involved with online "loves" and they have gotten themselves into disappointing and sometimes dangerous situations. Online relationships should be very low priority in your life...unless you already know the person and have to communicate that way to stay in touch.
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