A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have liked a guy at my school since this summer (he is smart and nerdy and funny and perverted and weird and philosophical). I had a budding friendship with him and suddenly found myself ridiculously attracted to him. We spent the whole first term talking and hanging out at speech and debate practically every day. Around the beginning of term two, I found out that he had a girlfriend (long distance, around 2 hours away), but this did not deter me. I fell harder for him. I was much prettier, thinner, and more well suited (this is what other people tell me)for him than his girlfriend. I confessed to him that I liked him (in the way only a shy, teen, girl, nerd can) and he said "okay" in the most indifferent voice I have ever heard a person use, ever. I asked him what that was supposed to mean, and he told me he really didn't know what to say (he's not the type of person that gets much notice by anyone). Now our friendship has slowly waned away into awkward silence. I make an effort to pretend as though nothing had changed and he does too, but he doesn't go out of his way to have a conversation with me any longer. Our only notable conversation recently was about (yes this is awkward for most people, but not the speech and debate team) masturbation because he intruded upon my conversation with a friend. I would like to know if he likes me at all (ordinarily I would assume he didn't, but I would like to think that he is just trying to be a decent boyfriend to his girlfriend. he is pretty loyal). I would also like to know if he will ever go out with me. I would ask him, but I am afraid it will make the situation only more awkward. I try so hard. If someone can help me, that would be great.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): To comments 2-4,
COMMENT 2. I get the impression that you believe that I meant to ask him out. I would never ask him out while he had a girlfriend. I simply would like to know if he liked me or not. You see, I find it very hard to find someone I actually like because I don't really understand most people (obviously). I figured that because we are both relatively young teenagers and his girlfriend lives a long distance away (he rarely gets to see her) that their relationship would not last long. If he likes me then it would be worth it to wait. If he does not like me then I am wasting my time. I have some advice for you: harsh criticism is not the same thing as advice. I am a highschooler and should not be held to some sort of god-like standard that dictates that all people and all relationships are pure, perfect, and based completely on a strong emotional/mental connection (and neither should he). Understand that the world, no matter how much we wish it to be different, is not perfect. People do things for bad reasons. Get off your high horse.
Comments 3 and 4.
Thank you. I appreciate the consideration. I think I may just try that and put a hold on my feelings for him.
Sincerely,
-the author
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (19 December 2009):
 He probably loves his girlfriend, not you and just didn't really know what to say when you said that you liked him.good luck in finding someone who gives you the unconditional love which you deserve.xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 December 2009):
I think he's just well into his girlfriend to be honest. He sounds like he just really fancies her. So I'm afraid no matter what the others says, he's not the guy for you. which means your Mr Right is still out there. Go and find him instead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): To my first comment,Yes, I have considered that he doesn't like me. I don't know what I was expecting. An "I don't feel the same way," would have been better than just "okay". "Okay" is neither yes nor no.Other people tell me about the prettier, skinnier, better suited (by better suited I meant personality-wise). I have never once compared us. I do not know this girl personally. I have nothing against her.-the author
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 December 2009):
 You say: "I was much prettier, thinner, and more well suited (this is what other people tell me)for him than his girlfriend".
Maybe in his eyes she is the prettier, maybe he doesnt care much about skinny, skinny doesnt always mean healthy, maybe she has a great sense of humour, an enquiring mind and maybe they have interests in common.
Maybe he isnt all that into you, what did you expect when you told him you liked him, a 30 minutes speech on how grateful he was?
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