A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all! Need some advice here please. Earlier in the week a girl said I was amazing and that we should hang out this weekend. I texted her yesterday asking if the plans were still good and she said heck ya so I replied sweet that's what I like to hear. I then asked about what time and day this weekend and said that at some point I have a bday party to go to. She still has not replied back. What do you think I should do? I mean she made the plans and reconfirmed them but I have no clue for when lol. I feel like I shouldn't text her again until she replies cause I don't want to push it. Should I just leave it alone?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 May 2017):
 Don't contact her again, neighbor or not she still left you hanging. Allow her to contact you if she wants to meet over the weekend, if you didn't hear from her then it sounds like she changed her mind.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 May 2017):
 I agree with her not being interested. She was just saying "yeah" because she loves the attention. She's one of those people who just love to be loved and wanted, but they are all full of empty promises. If she was serious, she would have given you a time and date a long time ago.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 May 2017):
 She definitely got your text. She's either really flaky and never really had the intent of meeting up with you, or she's nervous. Perhaps even a little combination of both. It's worth trying her again. Obviously don't be pushy but shoot her a text and just say hi and ask how she's doing. Try to engage her in conversation. Maybe she just wants to chat with you a little bit longer before she goes out with you one-on-one?
I know that woman can be difficult when it comes to this kind of stuff. I'm of the opinion that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. If you have no intention of going out with someone, you shouldn't say that you do. Just try one more time and see how it goes. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (28 May 2017):
 If she is a neighbour, why can't you just pop over and speak to her?
I notice you refer to her as a "girl". How old is she? If she is much younger than you, then maybe she was just flirting and is now horrified you took her flirting seriously?
Also slightly bemused that a man in his 30s would make plans to "hang out". I may be showing my age here, but isn't this something kids do, not adults? (Happy to be corrected if I am wrong.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2017): It never ceases to amaze me when an OP springs new details in a post as an after-thought. Then you have to wonder about the accuracy of the first post.
You still should leave her alone. No more messages or calls for now. She hasn't returned the calls you've made, although she is a neighbor. Even more reason to ease-up. You're too close for comfort, and maybe she has a good reason. Being a neighbor doesn't obligate her to see you.
It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. So she still found something else she'd rather do.
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A
male
reader, rasblak  +, writes (27 May 2017):
Try to put yourself in her shoes. I won't jump to any conclusions about what's happening on her side."I then asked about what time and day this weekend and said that at some point I have a bday party to go to"If I were a girl, I believe I'd be quite annoyed by this 'approach'... You're the guy, right? You missed a beat at taking charge and making *specific* plans.Why haven't *you* yet suggested a time and day and place to meet, and what's interesting to do there?Maybe she too is wondering, like me, what was the point about that, vaguely mentioned, birthday party you are to attend? How is that to factor in?In short, you've really left it all to her to do the crucial work for making 'this' happen. You are up against competition, and that's perfectly normal, and someone else has surely made it a lot easier for her to only have to say 'Yes' and show up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did not meet her online she is actually my neighbor haha. I didn't ask her or even imply we should hangout. We have kinda flirted in the past. She had a boyfriend but apparently now doesn't. I'd rather her come up with excuse then just not texted back. Like I said I checked with her yesterday and she was all for it. Haha just kinda confused I guess. Don't want it to be awkward either cause like I said she is my neighbor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2017): People these days have no sense of etiquette and their manners stink. Sorry dude, but she simply left you hanging. Apparently something she considered better came-up and now she's silent; or she was just full of fluff. Meaning, she was just being nice.
If you met online, keep in-mind you're up against some competition; and she could be seeing more than one guy.
In any case, you should make other plans. You shouldn't try to reach her anymore; because twice is more than enough. Don't play games; but try not to come across as too eager. People can sometimes string you along, and figure they'll come-up with some lame excuse and you'll buy it. Meanwhile; they've found something they'd rather do.
Follow your gut. Leave it alone.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2017):
 I would. (not text her)
You already ASKED her when and where. So GO make other plans. If she THEN contacts you, tell her you didn't think she wanted to meet up as she never replied so you made other plans but that YOU are available XX-day to go out for a bit or drink if SHE is available too.
When it comes to NEW people and getting to know them, KEEP texting to a minimum, spend as much time in person as possible. While I get setting up plans over text is easy and convenient - maybe NEXT time, give her a CALL?
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (27 May 2017):
Perhaps she didn't get your text. Call her and ask. You're an adult man act like it.
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