A
female
age
30-35,
*liciouss
writes:i am a 20 year old college junior and i have no problem with getting men's attention. however, i like a 17 year old high school senior. is this wrong?we met through mutual friends, which are all 19-21 years old except for him. at the time, we had so much connection and we clicked right away. he told me he was 19, goes to college, has an 8am class Mondays and wednesdays, etc. he looked way older and was VERY mature for his age, actually more mature than most college guys i know. it sounded believable because we hung out with all people my age. we dated for three weeks (nothing sexual at all) and then he told me he was 17. i bluffed it off and thought he was joking. then i found out he was 17 and a high school senior through facebook. i was so pissed that i ended it and was stressing out how i was dating a minor! i thought "what did i put myself into?!" he kept calling me and wanting me back and i was so mad at the fact that everything was a scam! he said that he really liked me from the beginning and that he had to lie or i would blow him off, which is true. n he made it clear he was 17, i just didnt believe him. we stopped talking for 2 weeks then he called me begging me to give him a chance and that age didnt matter. and seriously to me, age doesnt. its just the fact that he is underage and still in high school. i know the california rule is that you can date a minor as long as the parents dont object; his mother loves me. i really like him but something inside of me is telling me no. i dont know what to do....
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female
reader, HopelessRomantic2010 +, writes (1 November 2009):
Hii...
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. My first love was thirteen when I met him, and I was sixteen. By the time we started dating, I was less than a month away from turning seventeen, and he still had about four months before his fourteenth birthday. Much like your boyfriend, he did all he could to convince me that age didn't matter and to prove to me that he possessed maturity. He was successful, but I still stressed over the age difference a little bit. I was so worried about what everybody else was going to think once word got out. But then, I took some time to seriously think everything through, and finally, I was just like, "You know what? Screw what everybody else thinks! I like this guy, this guy likes me, and we're going to date!" As you can probably imagine, there were people that did not like our relationship at all. I ended up having some pretty hurtful things said to me, and it seemed like there was always somebody looking at me with their lip curled or something. Instead of letting that get to me, I just brushed it off. My boyfriend and I loved each other very much, and he didn't care what anybody thought. I decided to follow his lead, and it's the best decision that I could have made in that situation. Plus, I really didn't see it as doing anything wrong. We remained abstinent and had parental consent from both sides...and there's nothing illegal about that. In the end, though, I think that you should just follow your heart...because nobody can tell you what's better for you than you can.
Good luck, and God bless,
~SarSar~
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2009):
It's not immoral. I'm seeing an older woman and there's nothing wrong with it. Just wait until it's legal.
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A
female
reader, shabana47  +, writes (20 October 2009):
The age difference is illegal (for now) but that's not the same thing as immoral. Three years can seem like a lot, but if things get serious then a few years down the road it'll be like nothing, and if they don't get serious it's still ok to have a three year age difference. Just see what happens when he turns 18 and graduates.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Ok, I'm 19 in college and dating a 17 year old in high school but that's only a year and a half difference so it may not seem as bad but in any case its just 3 years and its not illegal, so if you like him you can date him. It always is harder when the girl is older (like I am) but if you really like the guy go for it.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (20 October 2009):
 Just out of curiosity, when does he turn 18?I think the fact that your relationship was never sexual seems to me that there is nothing that you have done wrong. OK so he bluffed but he knew that someone who is older and at college wouldn't have looked at him otherwise and yes he was right. OK lying to you was a little underhand but at the end of the day he has gone to great lengths to try and convince you otherwise and the fact that he is quite mature for his age and you have a great connection means that age is really just a number and if he leaves high school when he turns 18 it really isn't that long to wait is it?The fact that you get on with his mother and she is happy with you seeing one another means that you are both acting maturely and so if you like someone don't let an age gap keep you apart. The fact that you have a toy boy is pretty flattering to. Also the fact that he also gets on well with your friend's, means that he is able to hold his own with people who are slightly older than him and that could be because he has had a good grounding in his upbringing and you would be mad to gloss over him and go for someone who was older and yes in college but who could be a total nightmare. Keep us posted eh!, Don't stress out too much about this, go with the flow instead and see where the relationship takes you. BFNCountry Womanx
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