A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice please. Me and my bf have been ‘together’ for almost 3 years. We’ve been through a lot of things breaking up and making up again. The longest we’ve been apart was 2 months. I broke the relationship with him 2 days ago, I was so sure about that decision, because I feel that he just doesn’t respect my feeling. We do not live in the same place that’s why he only comes through on weekends. But the problem is, I feel that he does not spend enough time with me, does not treat me right and feels like I have to compete with his friends all the time. Like sometimes he will only come on Sunday to see me and Friday and Saturday he party with his friends. On Saturday I’ve been calling him many times but he just did not answer the phone and I know he knew it was me, this really drives me up the walls!!!! I’ve told him several times how this behavior of him makes me feel that it hurts me a lot. Every time he will apologize, making promises on bended knees and than he just do it again. I miss him, I love him, but really I can’t take this anymore. I don’t know how to handle it. He always tell me how much he love me, he wants to be with me forever, that I’m the girl he wants to marry because he knows exactly what I’m worth. But why does he spend so little time with me? After I dumped him two days ago, he asked his mom to call me to speak with me because he doesn’t want to be without me etc etc. I’ve told his mom exactly how I feel, but she asked me if we can’t sort things out because we’ve been together for so long and she knows that her son doesn’t see an other gf or so coz he admitted it and swear that he does not see anybode else, that’s what I was thinking because I just couldn’t understand why is he treating me like this. What should I do guys, should I take him back? should I let go forever? I love him very much but I really can’t let him take my love for granted. How many times must I forgive him before he gets his act right and I mean for ever treat me like I want to be treated? Am I just too selfish and sensitive? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2009):
He doesn't respect you, you have to compete with his friends? He doesnt' love you at all and is just using you. When a guy really loves a woman, he doesn't just make promises to change. He does it. He doesn't talk, he gets on with it. If he really cared for you, he'd bend over backwards to make you know it. As it is, he's just using you on a Friday night and that's it. end it with this guy and find a decent guy who will respect you.
A
female
reader, pinkypinkdee  +, writes (20 October 2009):
I'm in sort of the same situation. There's not alot you can do. He knows how you feel, and continues to take you for granted. Maybe if he realizes what he HAD and lost, it will be a wake up call. Stand firm with the break up. Tell him you deserve better and don't give in to any contact from him. Cut all ties for a while to make him see that you're really serious. If he's genuine about wanting to be with you, he should come around. If not, you need to do what's best for you for now and move on. And who knows, if it's meant to be, maybe it will work out down the road once he has his stuff figured out.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (20 October 2009):
 I really think you have answered your own question. He doesn't fit with you. He wants a different sort of relationship. The one you have is driving you mad. And when you dumped him he got his mummy to call? Oh please!I think there is a lot of stuff he needs to get out of his system before he is ready to settle down with anyone. Don't waste any more of your life. You are young. Go and enjoy life and see how much more is out there for you. Stop playing the part of the little woman who stays at home.
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