A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:HelloI am happily married and middle aged and work with a group of girls in health care, There is one guy who also works with us, he is a flirty joking type.One of the girls at work likes him and hits on him a lot.Yesterday evening he made a comment to this particular female that he would pay to have sex with me and would buy me a diamond ring to have sex with him.When she told me this, i confronted him and he said yes he would.The fact whether he has a crush on me is totally irreleavant, the remarks sickened me but i will not report him, he is a student.The thing that has upset me is the girls may think i am some secret whore or something for him to comment about payment for sex and a ring, while he has joked so many times before it has never been on this level.Also the guy and i are neighbours so this may add fuel to their thinking in that i have a secret life that only he knows about at work.Do you think i am over reacting, in these facilities i know this comment will circulate through throughout the building.Because i am so upset i cannot think clearly, so please tell me if you worked in this building and heard this comment, what would be your thoughts?ThankyouPlease tell me your thoughts.
View related questions:
at work, crush, flirt, neighbour Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): I believe that you are overeacting, ignore it,laugh it off, or just show him and the other girls that you would never do anything with him with a comment. They lose. Never get angry because, when you do become angry, they benefit from any feedback such as emotions so you lose when you show that the comment they made hurt you or affected you.
A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 Excuse me, So Very Confused. I am 38 and struggling with finding work so the comment of someone who is 45 should be well established is kinda rude. The work force is very very hard to break into and hold on to now.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 I think you are over-reacting… it was a joke and a poor one. He’s 45 and a student that alone says that he’s got maturity issues… by 45 folks should be well established in their job….
His bad behavior is not a reflection on you. When you “confronted him” I assume you mean you asked him “bill did you say this?” and when he confirmed it, you could have said “While I don’t mind joking and flirting at work (if you don’t), I do think that the comment about buying me a ring to have sex with me was a bit over the top and would appreciate it if you would tone down the sexual comments about me”
IF I worked in the building and I heard this I would think… NOTHING… absolutely NOTHING… you should hear some of the things the 30 something boys say to me…. and I back to them… all of us happily married. Work is a weird thing… we spend MORE time during the week with our co-workers than we do with our loved ones… they become an unofficial family… we joke, we tease, we talk about things that you would not always say in public with those that you never have to your home…. Most of my work friends do not come to my home… but they know a lot about me….
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Eh he is a loser. Next time someone tells you something creepy he said just say eww, I wouldn't touch that guy if he was the last man on Earth and then ignore it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This guy wanted you to know that he wants to be with you. He, for some reason, thinks you could be available if he tried hard enough. I hate guys like this because these are the guys that think marriage means nothing. They have no guy code and believe every woman is up for grabs. I think you may have to set him straight and it has to be in front of other people there. That way he and the other women you work with know that you are not some hussy.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 February 2013):
Exactly, and that's the point. They don't think that much of him at all. They probably see him as one of those loser middle aged men.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe other girls found it very funny and they were all laughing.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is he is also middle aged around 45.Thank you for your answers.I will try not to worry.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (3 February 2013):
Most people would probably think he was rather silly and immature, which frankly wouldn’t be a million miles from the truth. If you don’t want to report him, then speak directly to him instead. To be honest it’s probably best something you do try and sort out between you. Tell him the comments were inappropriate and you did not appreciate them, and ask he avoid making such comments in future. He only said that he would pay you, not that he did or that you’d offered him the opportunity to do so, so I think you may be worrying too much about the damage this will do to your reputation, but you’ve every right to be annoyed some-one said that.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2013):
It was a poor comment, and one that shows the immaturity that this student has, and the lack of respect he has for you, and probably women in general.
However, I don't think in any way that this reflects upon you. At all. It entirely reflects upon him. He made the remark, and it's likely the the other women will think much less of him for it (unless they are a little bit dim).
Don't worry at all.
I have heard these sorts of comment before, given that I work in construction, and to be honest all it does is make the person who says them look crap. It won't reflect on you.
...............................
|
