A
male
age
30-35,
*oul Blade
writes: Hey Basically, i have known this friend of a friend of mine off msn for a long time,and recently i met her in person,we get along fine and she is great fun to hang around with,only thing is she seems me as a friend at the moment,and i think shes way too beautiful to ever stand a chance with!Right now she likes this boy and is telling me about him now and then briefly, so i just conratualte her and stuff.I feel as if i should maybe confront her about it when she is single as this is basically a relationship she has.Im not a very good looking kid and mainly are seen as "the friend" so i dont know what to doIf i cant tell her how i feel i still want to be there for herand maybe make her realise i've always stuck by her?And im 16 but please don't use that an excuse to say something like "that person will come eventually" or "leave it your true love is close by" i've heard enough of that already,thankyou.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): You are probably underestimating yourself. She might be mentioning this other bloke to see if she gets a jealous reaction from you.
If you want to ask her for a date just do it. You've got two chances - she'll either say yes or no. If she says yes, you'll have struck gold, if she says no, you can still be friends.
Phil
A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (14 November 2007):
If a person has the right attitude, looks can mean very little. You should not put yourself down and think that she is above your level. No-one knows why we pick the people we love and believe me not all of mine were because of their looks! Be open with her and tell her how you feel. Let her know that if she wants to just be friends then thats also cool with you. This way you don't lose her as a friend. Don't be afraid to try. Good luck! xx
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A
male
reader, pavel38 +, writes (14 November 2007):
It's the old dilemma I'm afraid - tell her that you like her as more than a friend & risk losing the friendship, say nothing & retain the friendship but always wonder if it could have been more.
Firstly though don't put yourself down by saying you don't stand a chance with her, everyone is attracted to different qualities & attributes.
In your post you sound a little annoyed when you talk about confronting her & saying she basically has a relationship with you. I understand your frustration but be careful, because if you take any kind of a confrontational attitude into a discussion with her she could well decide she doesn't want to stay friends with you - friends don't mind someone being attracted to them but they do mind if you go overboard about it.
Only you know what's best to do. But I'm sorry to say based upon your post I think you know in your heart that she doesn't see you as more than a friend, & I think that's eating away at you too much to make it a good move right now to tell her how you feel. Try to put a little distance between the two of you, go out with other mates, meet other people etc, if she likes you as more than a friend she will do her best to see you, & then you're in a better frame of mind to tell her that you like her. Personally, I usually believe in being honest with people in these kind of situations, & from experience I'm not convinced it's necessarily a good thing to always be so open & honest with people. Hope it works out.
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