A
female
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*ackie69
writes:What can I do to stop feeling bad about myself?I feel ugly and fat and low all the time because the guy I loved left me after 2 and a half years together.I have a new guy who says I'm beautiful and gorgeous but that rejection has truly scarred me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (18 December 2012):
Cut him off, the best thing you can do is forget he existed. Bonus: it'll upset him!
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (18 December 2012):
 HI
NO definately not! this is what he wants you to do, it keeps his hold over you. I know what your feeling must be difficult at times, especially when times were good ( if there were times that were good) keeps you wondering what if! BUT you deserve to be happy and so does the guy you are seeing now. This time of year also is a emotional time for many too, but staying with a guy you don't truely love for the sake of things wont help you move forward and neither will going back or texting your ex. Be strong you CAN do it. You don't need a man to make you whole, what you need is space to be YOU. If you make any kind of contact with your ex you are just going to prolong the agony of getting over him, and you know deep down your ex don't love you for he would not have treated you so badly. Make no excuses for his behaviour and no attempt to contact.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (17 December 2012):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Do you thinl I should text my ex to say leave me alone and I can't be friends like he wants or should I just completely cut him dry?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 December 2012):
 You are clearly not over your ex. I'm sorry to say this but it's very unfair to your current partner.
why are you having any contact with him at all?
block his phone number
block his email
block him on social media.
pretend he is dead and get on with your life... you are giving this man who is your ex way too much power.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (17 December 2012):
HI Again
I suggest if your still inlove with your ex then your not quite ready for another relationship. Have some time out for yourself, go buy yourself some new things to cheer you up, get to know the real you again THEN only then start dating again. Compliments are always going to be there from the right man when your truely ready .
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (17 December 2012):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all.It doesn't help that a week ago my ex turned up to a dance me and my new guy were at and he looked out for me then they started fighting and then all night the ex text me after saying loved me and missed me.Then the next morning was horrible. He said I was with a tw*t, I was old looking and unhappy looking. He realy has always known how to put me down It isn't fair what he does to me. Stupid thing is I still love him but I'm refusing to contact him so I'm not hurt again. He's supposed to have new girl which he never brings with him. Why does he do this? He doesn't want me!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 December 2012):
Just remember that feeling fat and ugly is standard issue for women for whatever reason.
I'm married to a woman who weighs 105 lbs and still thinks she's fat sometimes.
Yes, men tell you what you want to hear but they are also not nearly as critical as women are to themselves.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (16 December 2012):
Totally agree with no nonsense aiden :)
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 December 2012):
He says you have been scarred by rejection, but do you agree with him? Your confidence will have taken a huge knock when the person you loved left you. However this doesn’t have to set the tone for the rest of your life or get in the way of your current relationship. Maybe explain to your partner how the rejection made you feel. This might be useful information to him because he may be wondering why you don’t take compliments easily. What will be the turning point for you is if you can learn to trust this new man to the point where when you tells you something often enough, like how beautiful you are, you’ll start to believe it. That trust takes time but stick with him and try really hard to tell yourself that he’s being honest and speaking from the heart. Rejection like you’ve experienced is probably not something you’re likely to forget, but you can and will move on from.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (16 December 2012):
 It WILL take a long time to get over the relationship beforehand, but I'm unsure why you're blaming yourself for this, people change and feelings change and you shouldn't believe that its because your ugly or fat, he wasn't with you for two and a half years for nothing, he did like something about you, believe that there's better people out there for you and that you CAN move on from this and have a good relationship and feel good about yourself.
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