A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice please. I am a stay at home dad.we have 2 kids that are 1 and 2 years old. I started noticing my wife acting different about 4 months ago. She had this glow about her. She was also buying new braws ans panties all the time.she never wanted sex with me. I was lucky to get it and when i did it sucked. My sixth sense told me something was wrong. One night when we were sleeping she sat up out of her sleep and said "I love you cutie". That was kind of out of the norm so I went down stairs at 2 am and checked the email that she uses. The password had been changed. Finally I got into the email and there was a message. It said, "hey girl, it sucks that you had to leave so fast the other night. Your lazy ass man just had to call and screw things up between us". "it's ok though because you can make it up to me before I go to bootcamp"." your sunshine". When i read this email I immediatley woke her up and questioned her. As I was questioning her she logged into myspace and deleted her profile. Who knows what was on there. She said this guy worked with her but i am making a big deal out of nothing. I said did you screw him. She said no. I said did you kiss him. She said no. Then she said yes I kissed him but thats it.The next day she didn't want to talk about it. She was acting kind of erratic. She just wanted to go go go, like the beach, than the store. It was weird behavior. I tried calling this guy and he will not talk to me. I am so worried that there is more to what happened. Oh, and after I found out she has changed a lot. Now she puts out! I don't understand this. Everytime I bring this story up to her she gets pissed and says I am like a broken record asking the same old questions.Please somebody out there tell me, how can I get the truth out of her so I can stop thinking about this. I believe in my heart that there's more to the story and it bothers me but if there's not than I don't want to bother her any more. Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): if she didnt have sex with you in two weeks than sign are she is cheating on you.coming late home,turning cell phone off or ring tone on cell phone is o vibration,than she is guilty.find a private investigator,catch her , get the evidence and divorce her.court will give you the coustedy of kids
the attorney of familey low
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 October 2008):
 I would say she had been having a full affair with him. Too many negative signs of behavior. I also see kissing as a form of cheating we well. Deleting her myspace page definitely shows hiding something. Her not wanting to discuss the issue and, believe it or not, putting out more are both methods of avoiding having to face these issues.
You two need to talk. When you do, use the word "cheated" because that includes all forms such as kissing and psychological affairs. This isn't a accusitory conversation. It's already been established something happened between her and another man. Even though she says sex didn't, she's admitted to the other. It's also one where you don't argue your point of view to be right. She may have a different view and that's okay. You are separate people, so it's expected.
First, without getting angry, tell her how this behavior has affected you. Let her know your in pain. It's a normal reaction but can begin healing by talking about it. Next, do the two of you with to remain married? What was off in your bond where she felt the need to seek affection somewhere else? If you wish to remain married and overcome these issues it's important to discuss how. Counseling? Reconnect? etc. How to go from where you are now to growing in a positive, healthy direction as a family. You do this because trust and honest are essential to a good marriage. Where the trust is broken and you plan to rebuild it, you have to know how. It's not going to just happen.
I hope this helps you. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I think I would go with my gut feelings .... Try to plan a private night for you two to be away from the kids and talk to her ..... If she changes her story and says it is true she did sleep with the guy are you going to leave her ? If so, be prepared to do that ...... Maybe she believes you will leave if she tells you the truth .... Ask her that ......
Most of girl friends lived by the old saying " Rule #1 Never Confess" and they didn't ...
Good luck
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A
male
reader, seekinghelp +, writes (28 October 2008):
Hey man, she does not want to talk about it because she wants to ignore it, hide what she has done, and thinks hopefully you will just accept it... I guess that part is up to you. She cheated on you, sex or no sex. She is probably putting out so that you will think her affair is over. But here is the kicker, this will not just go away, something has to be done.
You two should seek marriage counseling, only after everything has been put out on the table, and all the secrets are known, can you start to rebuild.
Best of luck
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