A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I breach the sexual subject with him? My boyfriend and I are both pretty inexperienced in relationships, but him a lot more than I. He's never kissed a girl and so were going slow and haven't kissed yet, but we've had some pretty intimate cuddling. This last time we were on a couch watching tv and his arm was around me in a perfect position for him to touch my crotch area. He began by just stroking my inner thigh but had copped some amazing feels of me by the end of the night. I had my arm right near his crotch and was pretty sure I felt a hard-on. He seemed to do a good job of not talking about it though. I want to know for sure whether he got an erection, but I don't know how to bring it up. Is it ok to bring it up with him though? Do you think he'll get embarrassed and deny it? And is this healthy for us if we're not going to be having sex?
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female
reader, fluffyshoes  +, writes (28 October 2008):
Hi :)
To be honest I think you are missing out a wonderful step when cuddling goes straight to touching crotch. I think it is fine to try and talk to him but he may get a little embarressed even though to get an erection would have been perfectly natural.
Maybe try next time you are getting cuddly to get in a position to kiss, It can be the most amazing and intimate thing then when you are both comfortable kissing and maybe talking more openly about being intimate then think about taking things further. If you are not going to be having sex then I think cuddling then kissing is a healthy way to go then you can steadily get more intimate when you are both ready for it. It is perfectly natural to go through the stages of cuddling, kissing then touching each other intimately, oral sex and then sex.
As long as you both know what the boundaries are and what you are both comfortable to do it is fine. It can be great although initially embarrasing to discuss such things but if you approach it in a calm and natural way learning to discuss your feelings and intimacies can strengthen a realtionship greatly and is very healthy.
I hope you find a way to talk to him about this good luck.
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