A
female
age
30-35,
*xpenniferxx
writes:I KNOW THERE'S LOADS TO READ HERE - I DIDN'T PLAN ON THIS BEING SO LONG BUT I REALLY NEED ADVICE HERE AND I'D APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH IF SOME OF YOU WOULD TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT AND OFFER YOUR VIEWS. THANK YOU!This is going to sound like the usual question from a student and I've been trying to tempt myself from asking this but it's bugging me so much I have to ask now!I'm 16 and I left school a few weeks ago and I only go into school now for my exams. And I think my teacher has been flirting with me. I know you're all going to think "oh here's another student in love with her teacher" but I really do think he has been flirting. Let me explain my reasons.We got on really well in year 10 when he was teaching me chemistry. I was sat at the front with this boy and he was always chatting to us and we were always having a good laugh. I thought nothing of it then. In year 11 I was moved up into a higher science group and when it was my groups turn to do chemistry we had him. I sat at the back with my mate so I never actually spoke to him much but when we did it was always funny and he's always insisted on calling me Penelope to annoy me cos he knows I hate it as my name is Penny. About 2 months ago we got put into revision groups to revise everything for the last 3 weeks before we finished school. When it was my turn to revise chemistry I sat at the front and he was always talking to me and whenever he made a joke to the class he would look straight to me for my reaction and I'd be like "You're a disgrace you know that?" and there was a time I was moaning a graph wasn't very clear on this paper and he says "Oh yeah I'm sorry that's my fault, I'll smack myself later" so I said "oh that could be fun" and he said "it could be actually" in which I replied "can I watch?" like as a joke and he burst out laughing and says "oh you sick person" - it really was VERY funny!Then a week later it all kicked off. The head of chemistry had marked a test paper of mine and my mates and we had done really bad! He asked us to go and see him to arrange some revision with him as it was urgent. So we found him and he looked at when he had some periods free and he had a period free on the Friday which was to be our first day of study leave as we left on the Thursday. So me and my mate said we would come in just to do a revision session on that Friday. He then said that Mr M (I'll call him that as real names can't be used.) was available after school that night if we wanted to do some revision with him.(Mr M being the teacher who is flirting). My mate couldn't make it as she had to be home early but I could. So after school I went to his room and he's like "Ah Penelope,lets get some revision done". So we spent a whole hour alone together and he was helping me loads but also flirting loads! He was always taking the mick like saying "Try this question...if you need any help let me know...which will be straight away" and I was insulting him saying "How come I didn't know any of this before hand, you're such a rubbish teacher" and he'd laugh and agree. Then the head of chemistry came in and Mr M had something for him which he'd been looking for for ages and while he was reading it making sure it was the right thing Mr M was winking at me going "See...I'm a superstar and you've never believed me" and basically for the whole hour we were flirting loads and laughing. We arranged that I'd go back the next day after school to do more revision and my mate came with me this time. And again, he was totally flirting with me, but not my mate.My mate asked him why she had been put in the A* revision group when she's not an A* student and he says "cos we wanted some nice people in there" so I said "Well why pick her!?" and he says "well it was either her or you" and I was like "Oh thanks I'll go and cry now." so he's like "Sorry Penelope" and I was telling him how I got fired from my dog walking job and hes like "What did you do? Lose the dogs?" and I was like haha! Then told him the reason and he was all sympathetic. And these people came to look round the school and they came in so I whispered to him "You've got to pretend to teach us now" and he just burst out laughing. He really singles me out from everyone else! He was on about moles which is something to do with chemistry and I was chuckling at it and he goes to my mate "Now that's the difference between sensible and serious scientists and Penny....Penny laughs at moles whereas we don't" and they were both laughing and I'm like "I'm not talking to you now" so he said sorry again. Then it was time to go as we had to get the 2nd buses. I was just getting on my bus and my mate goes "No don't leave me!" and Mr M was next to her on bus duty and as she said that he looked in the bus window to see the sign which says where the bus is going to so he looked at it as if he was wondering where I lived. Then on the Thursday which was my last day I went to see him at lunch and I had a card for him which was a "number 1 teacher" card and I'd written a thank you note for doing all the revision with me and I'd filled it with all our jokes and insults we've had and I watched him read it and he was laughing so much! There wasn't a point where he wasn't laughing then he looked at me and looked dead emotional and said "awww thanks alot!" - it was really sweet! Since then me and my mate have done 1 or 2 revision sessions with him in our study leave time and he's been the usual flirter. My mate has always said he's only like it with me. Well he gets on with everyone but he takes it much further with me. My chemistry exam was last Thurs and on the Wed after school about 10 girls went to after school revision and both Mr M and the head of science were there. I wasn't that happy at first cos I wanted the attention from Mr M that I usually get and didn't think I'd get it now. Right at the beginning he was on about some element and he goes "Just like me and Mr P (again not using real names) this is big and strong" and we all laughed sarcastically but he looked straight to me (I was at the back) and I was like "yeah whatever!" and he laughs and goes "whats that Penny?" and I said "oh no nothing...you just carry on" and everyone laughed. Then everytime Mr P was talking, I looked at Mr M and he was already looking at me. And this went on for the whole hour.Then near the end as everyone was leaving I was collecting my sheets together and I looked at him and he just started grinning and laughing and I said "What now!?" and he was laughing and he goes "no..nothing" and starts walking over to me and I said "you just can't go one lesson without bullying me can you?" and he said "No I cant...I'm gonna miss bullying you Penny" then my mates goes "This is the last time you'll speak to each other so you can't bully her now" and he said "Nah I'll just wait til prize giving day (which is in November) and I'll carry on then." So I said "ooh yeah I'll come and see you" so he smiled and said "Yeah I'll continue to bully you then" n I replied "you'll probs trip me up on the stage" and he says "yep or I'll boo you when you go up" then I said "Can't you ever just be nice to me?" and he said "It's not in my nature to be nice" in which I replied "well change your ways then!" and he laughed then him and Mr P wished us good luck for the exam the next day and they all said thanks then in my jokey voice as I walked out the door I said "love you" but didn't catch his reaction. My mates were pretty shocked but it's hardly inappropriate with the relationship we have. We were then walking home and suddenly heard this ring sound and Mr M passes us on his bike! And shouted "Ayee look who it is!" and he was grinning. That's pretty much the last installments of whats happened. I just don't get this relationship we have. Is it totally innocent and we just get along or is there something more?I have 3 exams left so I probably won't see him again til November and that's really hard cos we have been getting on SO well. I'd love to stay in touch and he can't make the prom cos hes on a school trip to France. I know its been alot to read but I'd really appreciate your views on this.
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flirt, my ex, my teacher, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 is he married/ dating?
he definitely likes you as a friend, but he's extremely flrity with you, so it also seems like he may have some romantic feelings towards you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): I think it might be the same as my and my 6th grade scencie teacher(i'm in 7th now) we always joke aroud and I think we understand each other very well and have great Chemistry....I think you guys just have a really good friendship that you should'nt take it for granted. good luck on ur exams
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A
female
reader, dormatron +, writes (19 June 2008):
If he IS flirting with you, it seems innocent enough and nothing sexual/romantic. Perhaps he has just picked you out as a favorite. As much as teachers don't want you to believe it, they all have favorites. He may see something in you that he doesn't see in other students. Or perhaps you two just have similar personalities and you get along well. There are many possibilities. It sounds to me like just a close friendship.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 It sounds innocent, I think this man just may be a great teacher, i don't think there is more too it than that.
Good luck on your exams
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): oh my gosh i'm in exactly same situation!
my teacher told me he picked on me, and would say things like i like picking on her, it's the highlight of my day to the whole classs.
our battles of wit and sarcasm arguments make my day!!
it's nice that there's someone you can go and talk to about things and just have a mess around with.
i don't think he likes you in THAT way, if he did, i doubt he would be stupid enough to do anything about it. just go and see him next year and see how that goes.
good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): ermm i dnt think he likes you as in lovve or lust..he just likes you as a friend some teachers are like that
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A
female
reader, anonymous08 +, writes (9 June 2008):
 well if you read my story youd find it quite similar i think that this teacher definitely has feelings for you or just likes you more than your friends because he understands you more and you joke around with him alot he may think you have feelings for him so hes just being nice like i say im only 14 but my m8s like this teacher and he knows and hes just like what you say your teachers like i think you should put him str8 and tell him you dont have feelingsfor him unless you do of course
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): Ermmm...hummm...
I think you might like him, but my teacher does this as well - not all of them, Science one as well as you and he just has a chat.
I genuinleyy think it's a Science teacher thing - they tend to think about life, the world and universe more than any other teacher and be smarter. Therefore they know how to teach and get along with people more. This is probably why he's like that - as well as the fact it's just his sheer nature and that he likes socializing.
I think it's just a friendship thing personally, but keep an eye on things if you get really that concerned.
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A
female
reader, Amy2007x +, writes (8 June 2008):
 were in the exact suituation btw :)
my teacher (well ex teacher!... i also left a couple of weeks ago) used to bully me playfully like everyday and whnever id ask him why he would say its job satisfaction or that i bully him first? lol the enxt i will get to see him is prizegivin and that is enxt week un like yours, but yeah he was talkin about throwin a cream pie in my face? lol
uft, he a big teddy bear really ahah lol
but aye, a dont see him anymore now my last exam was fridya and now i have like no reason to ever go in again!
til next week of course, im think of askin the dude for his msn jst so we can keep in touch but i dno
but i also got hima thankyou card and wrote a joke in it which was hillarious and its only between us, its when i teased him one day and i changed his password on his compuiter so i got him to shout somethin ridouclous for i, so i werote that in the card, the thing he had to shout.
am gonna miss him
and im so very happy thatur in my suiutation, i felt liek i was readin one of my own posts for a moment!
mail me!
x
ohh and ps... my teacher also couldnt go to my prom!
sorry lol
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I personally think it is very innocent and it will be sad if you read anything more into it as it can ruin a very good, friendly relationship that you have with the teacher. It sounds as if you get along very well and understand each other. He knows he can tease you and feel comfortable in doing so as it is obvious you can handle it.Best of luck with the exams!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I'm 17 and well, I think that he might really like you, but as a friend. IT already happened to me, i thought a teacher was flirting with me, but later on, i figured out that he just really liked me as a friend. But if you really dont feel comfortable you should talk about it with him.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Hmmm, I think it's innocent. He sounds like he's just being playful.
It's obvious that you both care for each other (eg, the "love you" comment), but I think it's more of a close-friend relationship. Teachers need people to joke with during the day... it seems like your just his 'person', not his 'person who he is romantically interested in'. I'd say just treat him like a friend. Visiting him next schoolyear sounds like a good idea to me...
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