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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me, how can I prepare for that?He says he's tired of my insecurities and behaviors (because sometimes I have problems controlling anger or sadness... I cry a lot and yell sometimes). We were talking over MSN and he said we needed to talk, but thta it needs to be in person and that he's questioning why he's still with me. I think he's going to break up. He's told me before (like two weeks before) that he'd break up with me if I didn't change, but it's so hard to just change! He said that time that sometimes he wanted to have a break to date someone else and have fun, and that if we break up definitively, he'd immediately go looking for a "have fun" girl. I'm sure this is what he'll tell me, as we had some problems this weekend, but I love him and I don't think I can face the humilliation and hurt that I'll feel when he tells me this, as he's my first boyfriend, and because it'd be all my fault.Thanks.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Why would you take the blame for his wanting to break up. So, your insecure, who isn't? Even "fun girls" have a mental battle of insecurities going on.
What sort of things are causing this crying and anger? Does it have to do with him. Other things going on in life, or other stresses? Maybe different fears, etc. Even though this may end. Why don't you list some of the things that cause these insecure feelings, and see if people here can help give you answers that will help you overcome some of these causes.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 No it is not all of your fault! He said himself that he wants to just date and have fun. He sounds like a jerk for saying this to you and you deserve better then that!
I know you don't want to hear this but I don't think he loves you. Everyone has issues that need to be changed. But that doesn't mean that it is your fault. When you love someone you are willing to overlook their faults and help them become a better person.
My advice to is when you see him next before he has a chance to say anything explain to him how much you love him and how much it hurts that he wants to go date a "fun girl". Tell him you know you have issues and are trying to work through them and you need support and love. Then ask if he loves you.
Then let him talk. If he breaks up with you then it is NOT your fault and he never loved you in the first place. You deserve someone who will love you and help you through your faults and not think of going off and dating some fun girl.
If you need to talk send me a message. I wish you the best!
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