A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. He cheated on me last winter with his ex girlfriend which i have never fully got over. He still wants to meet up with her(just to chat as friends) and often talks to girls in an unhealthy manner(e.g. calling them 'sexy' or inviting them round to watch movies). He also texts other girls when i am there. He says im being unreasonable when i ask him to stop. Is his behavior as unacceptable as i think it is? Thank you.
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cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): You have a right to be unreasonable.He is cheating on youverbally,emotionally,and physically.You need to leave him as soon as possible.He just sees you as a girl that he candisrespect and take advantage of.Don't let him thjink that.Leave him now.He's not worth you time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): You are not being unreasonable. He has proved that he is not to be trusted. He must earn that trust back. This means no contact with the ex-girlfriend, and by acting in a completely trustworthy manner. By the sounds of it, he is not doing either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): I had a bunch of canadian friends on my college lacrosse team, they are all dirtballs and man horrors. Funny as hell and love to party though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): Vow you need to put your running shoes on and get going far away from this guy with a speed; he is not RESPECTING you; you cannot TRUST him and I don't blame you; WHy are you still around?
NO no no, you deserve better then this; I would not even discuss this with him any further; just cut him off; get away from him; he is trying to drag you down to his level;
I suggest you start loving yourself and give yourself more value and credit; his behaviour is totally unacceptable BUT you allowed him to get away with it; SURELY you are not that desperate for him; I am convinced you can do much better and find real honest love and happiness!
Forget about this guy; find somebody that you can trust and that will love and respect you; somebody with good decent values;
ALWAYS remember; you DESERVE the BEST and you need to be HAPPY; there is no point to hang around and you are unhappy!
Get out there and go find the right guy! He is waiting for you! Enjoy and have fun!
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 you need to lose him, end of story!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Er no! This is not normal, and alarm bells are ringing because you know damn well its not normal! You're letting this guy take the piss, and so is his ex. And wheres her female solidarity??!! My ex had some woman cook him lobster at hers last saturday, then he txt me asking if i wanted to go to lunch on sunday. Um no i dont! Told him its one thing to bump into each other when others are around when out, or anything to do with the kids, but meeting up and all that jargon? No. She cooked you dinner last night, take her out to lunch today in return, thats how dating works, der! Exes can be a pain in the but, and i wont ever be some other womans pain in the but. It riles me when exes are. Wheres their dignity for god sake.
Start laying the law down on this one, and expect him to respect that, ask him to put the shoe on the other foot. If he still says you're being unreasonable, move on and find someone on the same wavelength as you hun. This ones a messer by the sounds of it.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Yeah... he's cheating on you or at least trying to. Why would we want to meet up with a girl he cheated on you with? Why on earth would he expect YOU to be okay with this?
He's selfish and he thinks he can walk all over you. And he can, because you continue to put up with his behavior. If he isn't already sleeping with another girl, he will be at some point in the future. Are you going to wait for it to happen again? You shouldn't.
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (9 August 2008):
 He is absolutely showing you zero respect. Seriously, what kind of emotional voodoo has he done on you that you need to ask if his behaviour is unacceptable? Cheating is a huge issue, but people can move on from it--so long as the cheater truly regrets what they did and understand that they have to rebuild the trust. Wanting to 'chat' with the person they cheated with...doesn't show that at all.
Depending on what you are getting out of the relationship, you may want to continue talking to him. If it were me, though, I would kick him to the curb and let him be grateful that he made it out alive.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, peeved +, writes (9 August 2008):
I personally think this behaviour is unacceptable. He has given you no proof for you to trust him. I am sure there are much better men out there for you!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 August 2008):
Yep he doesn't give a crap about you. But then you forgave him over cheating so he knows you are probably going to forgive him for everything else.
He's going to tell you it's your fault because then he can continue to get away with it.
Dump him. What are you getting from this relationship that is worth putting up with that?
Good Luck!! xx
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