A
female
age
26-29,
*jroller14
writes:My friend and I have known each other since we were like 7 or 8. I started to really like one of her ex-boyfriends. I asked her how mad she would be, on a scale from 1 to 10, if I liked him. She said about a 2, and told me she wouldn’t care if I dated him.Well, now I’m dating him and I have made sure we’re not hugging all over each other around her, but she has been really grouchy and grumpy lately. I’ve asked her if she is okay and she says "don’t talk to me" and walks away. Now I don’t know what to do. She and I have been friends forever, but I really, really, REALLY like him....we even told one another we love each other.
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female
reader, JGSM  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Well sorry but you should have known better... of course your friend said at first that she would not be mad because of course she does not own him. So she can't really say no and she was probably very shocked and hurt that you even asked her that. Dating a friends ex is a NO NO NO ! ... I mean.. did you know her when the two of them dated? Because that's just weird and I am sorry wrong!... Perhaps she will accept it, give her some time.. but you should just prepare yourself that she never will. I would never ever date one of my friends exes... I never do something to other people that I would not like them to do to me. And frankly I think its very wrong and mean doing something like that.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2011):
 Give her some space and see if she comes around. If not.. there isn't much you can do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): She is VERY hurt and feels very betrayed by you.I think you should please leave her alone.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (18 May 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've tried talking to her but she just walks away, I've tried calling her and she ignores me, I've tried emailing her and she wont reply! How can I talk to her if she wants nothing to do with me?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): It's difficult. I've been in the same situation too. I fell for my friends ex. I asked if she'd be okay if we started going out and she said no. So we started dating and she was always onto us for always being together even though we were spending less time together to be with friends as before the relationship we were completely inseparable!
It was a strong move to say that she was fine with it because she probably just wants you to be happy, but you come to a point where you have to realise that it's not really you thats causing the problem it's your friend. If she told you that she would be fine then she should have been prepared for the outcome or told the truth.
Talk to her about it and try to sort things out outside of school so you can find out what her problem is. Just listen what she has to say and try to tell her how you feel. Don't get into an argument over it though, just try to be reasonable.
Hope this helps!
Good Luck :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2011):
Talk to her (outside of school.)
Usually dating a BFF's ex is a huge no-no. But I think in your case you were considerate enough to ask her how she would feel about it before pursuing it. She might not have know how much it would actually hurt her feelings, but.. if she is over him.. she needs to let it go.
Personally... I would never in a million years date an ex of any of my friends.
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