A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can someone help me with this question? I don't know of anybody being in this situation ever.My boyfriend of nearly 7 months chooses to spend his time with a lady in her 60's rather than with me. He goes to her house every night and through the day on a weekend. He says he does jobs for her, and I know he does, as this is my friend's grandmother, but he goes up there and just watches TV and chats. He has gone up there for years with his granda but his granda died a few years ago.I don't want to sound like a petty child and I don't mind him going, but I only see him a couple of nights a week. He puts this lady before me.Does anyone think I am being unreasonable?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): I think it's very sweet.....
I dont think its unreasoanle that you feel this way, as when you love someone you want to spend as much time with your partner as possible. BUT Being around her may just remind him of the happy memories of his grandad :)
Maybe you could go round there together? It might even bring the two of you closer. x
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I think he has a very strong bond to his "replacement- grandma" and she is giving him something he needs that you can not give him. Did he make a promise to his grandad to make sure SHE is OK? And taken care of?
I don't think he puts HER before you though. He puts HIMSELF before you.
Now if this is nothing new, then I think you are being unreasonable, honestly.
Maybe you two need to set up some more "planned" days for hanging out?
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A
male
reader, Sparta +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I do believe it would be nice of this fellow to spend more time with you. But you may have to look at it from his point of view; maybe since his Grandad past away he wants to continue seeing her to keep her company because he cares. And lets face it she's in her 60's who knows how long she'd have left depending how long people live in her family. Maybe she talks to him and gives him good advice; or has become an important person in his life who he likes to help out and keep from feeling lonely. Just think if you two continue to stay together; life will start to move forward; you two may move somewhere else. Then he wont be able to visit this lady to often. Maybe thats how he sees it; that he will be going on with life soon enough so he spends time with her because he feels obligated to do so before he cant anymore. Atleast to me; I say your guy spending time with a women in her 60s is not much to worry about. Seems like a caring young gentlemen to me. Try seeing it as such; maybe you will begin to understand what he is doing or why he does it. Heck; there is always asking him. Ask him what he does; what he likes about it, ask about the women herself. Maybe you'll find more information that will help you out :)Hope this helps.
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