A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I haven't been dating for very long, only four months but i feel we have a very good strong relationship. My boyfriend tells me how much he loves me and has even spoken about marrige or spending his life with me, im his first love and he is mine. Lately i've started worrying though, I feel he is distant but I dont know if its just because he has become comfortable or used to me. He has been having a few family problems and im here for him but I think he might feel i'm not always as supportive as I should be. We have been having small arguments but nothing serious, we talk things out and he stil holds me and reassures me. The problem is i feel i've done everything any womans advice column says not to do. These are the things i've done "wrong": 1. I told him I love him first. (He responded by telling me he loves me too he was just afraid to tell me in case I didnt feel the same way.) 2. I let him know about all my insecurities and worries. Apparently an insecure woman is unattractive. 3. We had sex, maybe too soon. It only brought us closer though. 4. I may seem desperate or needy because I ask him for reassurance and I worry often. 5. I may be smothering him because we see each other often and chat all the time. 6. I'm a very emotional person and i cry often, which he has been ok with him from the start. Should i stop being the way i am and play hard to get or is our relationship fine the way it is? Have i messed things up?
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female
reader, kylieekristina  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 lol well don't try the birth control pill, that one just made me even crazier...glad to hear you feel better about things. mom's try to help but sometimes really screw us up don't they. lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you kylieekristina. Things are going well now, I stopped worrying and just kept on with how we were before which is perfect for us. I think my mom made me doubt myself and our relationship and that may be the actual problem here. Plus I have crazy hormones! Need to get a pill or something to control that :)
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A
female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (23 May 2011):
There is no rules to what a woman should or shouldn't do in a relationship!! The reason why is everybody falls in love with different people for different reasons. You telling him you loved him first, his reaction along with telling you he was afraid to tell you first tells me he may love the fact that you allow yourself to be vulnerable with him. When a man lets himself be a little vulnerable with me I find it indeering and it makes me feel special and needed. Who doesn't want to feel needed? I wouldn't change a thing, I might ask him if he thinks you "fill in the blanks with your concerns" cry too much etc. then post his answers and have guys give a definition of what he really meant...lol Men do have their own language when it comes to their feelings.
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A
male
reader, j321 +, writes (23 May 2011):
Do not change anything about who you are, he will pickup on the fact that something is different and start wondering what is wrong. If he had a hard time with fsmily it is possible there may be something he is dealing with in his past. Guys are not very good at handleing our emotions, quite the oposite. We hold them in and try to bury them. Then when we get envolved with a serious relationship things start coming to the surface. Sometimes it comes out in anger, depression, running from relationship, or drinking heavy. Every guy is different, try to seee if you can get him to open up to you. It may be hard though some guys have a really hard time trusting anyone to let their fellings and emotions get exposed and naked from their barriers.
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