A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so there is this guy I've been crushing on for the past year. we went to a concert last nov. where we got into a water fight and kept pouring water over each others heads and he kept looking back at me throughout the concert and smiling. I asked him on a date before and he said yeah maybe (in an optimistic way) but then he never called me. he said he couldn't find my number (its on my Facebook). but this weekend I invited him to a party and he finally agreed to come. he usually makes a lot of excuses as to why he can't go places. he is really antisocial. but this time he got drunk and he was more social and the whole night I was making him laugh. as we're sitting on this tree next to the bonfire he kinda petted my arm to get my attention (lolz) and he kept asking me "am I annoying people here? am I annoying you? am I irritating you? I feel like I should be embarrassed, I keep saying everyones name a lot and saying I'm sorry.i feel like I'm going to be embarrassed tomorrow." I laughed and put my arm around him and rubbed his back and said no you're not annoying, everyone likes you. he usually doesn't like people touching him. maybe he just let me do it cause he was drunk idk. he hates PDA. I also put my leg on his and he pushed it off. but he let me play with his hair and put my head on his shoulder. but when we would talk we would get really close and I swear we had one of those locking eye moments that happen right before a kiss but he always makes eye contact with me. I didn't do anything because I wasn't sure if I was imagining it. we also spent much of the night together because he didn't know a lot of people. and I told him I thought he was really cute and he said "thank you. my friend said I was cute but apparently I'm not as handsome as him." I told him not to listen to his friend cause he is sexy. (I feel like I shouldn't have said that. haha) I also asked him if he wanted to go to the next party of the night and he said he didn't want to because he was tired. even though he said he was in no condition to go home. and he always makes excuses about why he can't go out and he said was surprised that I wasn't sick of him by now. but he was thinking about it for a while. once he told me he kept asking me if I was disappointed because I apparently had a disappointed look on my face. lol I asked him if he had fun and if he would ever come back and he said yeah. I also told him what I thought about him the first time I met him and he said I didn't want to know what he thought about me and he wouldn't tell me. :( then he went to the bathroom and when he came back he asked me what me and my guy friend were talking about while he was gone. I got the vibe at times he was looking at other girls but maybe he was just looking around and watching people. I can't tell for the life of me if he likes me. I haven't liked a guy this much in 6 years. he also told me i was interesting. i would like to know from a shy guy point of view what I should do for next time and if he likes me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): hi this is the question asker... not sure how to "followup" on this questions since i asked it anonymously when i didn't have an account...um but no he's told me before he has high confidence its just a matter of people seeing how great he really is that makes him nervous. he wants people to think he's amazing and hot and stuff. i think he has avoidant personality disorder.
i do believe there is A LOT of chemistry between us if he would just stop making excuses as to why he can't hang out and give the friendship a chance. and i really am trying to relax around him. he makes me hella nervous too. but i ask him about his interests because i know for a fact that he LOVES talking about himself haha.
and i worry if i came out and told him directly i like him he'll get scared away. he is uber shy after all.
when i asked him on that date a year ago and he never called i asked him if he even wanted to go then. and he he said "no not THEN i didn't." but i didn't want to seem desperate and ask "well ok...how about now?" instead i just smiled politely said thats ok and went my own way. its very irritating always having to initiate conversation too.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 May 2011):
Hi there. It mainly sounds like a lack of self confidence that he has.
Do you feel like there is any chemistry there between you?
Do you feel that you get along pretty well and can talk about almost anything?
The whole experience between you seems to be anything but relaxed and neither of you are relaxing enough to just be yourselves.
It also seems like especially with him, that he is overly concerned with what other people think of him all the time.
It's getting in the way.
This is preventing him from relaxing enough to just enjoy himself and have fun.
If it was possible for him to relax a bit more, and just believe in himself, then his true personality would come out and have a chance to shine.
You are not really getting to know each other very well at the moment, while he feels this way.
Perhaps you could just say to him that you like him just the way he is, and that there is no problem at all.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (23 May 2011):
 Keep doing what you're doing and reassuring him. Be persistent. It sounds like he likes you... I'm willing to bet he hasn't really had a serious relationship before.
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