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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok sooo im 16. my boyfriend, well ex, was 18 and we jus broke up. we got together 5 months ago. before i got with him, i never rly had the urge to drink alcohol or smoke anything. but in these last 5 months i have jus been wanting it more and more. anytime i drink i cant stop myself. i drink to the point of blacking out. well last night, i talked to him and he said he decided that it was rly over and that he could never fall in love with me because it wouldnt work out in the long run and its not fair of him to leave me with a broken heart when he leaves to enlist in the marines this summer. so i went out, met up with a few friends, that turned into more and more people and eventually led to this big party out on the woods in my town. i got so drunk, i chose to keep drinking and drinking. anyone offered me a drink and i took it. i even took 2 little white pills that this guy gave me. i jus didnt care anymore. i felt so unloved. like no one could ever love me for me and that all my relationships seem to fall apart after we start having sex. anyways, i ended up jus blacking out. a friend told me i was begging this guy to take me home with him and that i would do "whatever he wanted" and that everyone saw a whole new side of me. i feel so disgusted with myself. my friend said the guy told her that he jus drove me home, got me into my house (my parents are away for a week) and left me in my living room. i woke up on the floor of my bathroom about 3 hours ago. i have this horrible pain in my side, a split lip (looks like i may have bitten myself), and bruises on my sides and hips. im rly scared bc i dont know what happened last night after this guy dropped me off. did he stay? did we do anything? what were those pills he gave me? im all alone in my house and idk what to do. i feel like i want to go get checked out... bc if me and him did something last night i have no way of knowing on my own if it was safe. im so scared. please help me. what do i do? how do i face my friends again? do i confront this guy and ask him what happened? would that legally be considered rape... i suppose i wouldve been taken advantage of...but apparently i was asking for it..help! thanks!
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female
reader, wild orchid  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 hun this is considered rape. because you werent concious of what you were doing. confronting him would be the best thing. and going to the hospital for sure. you dont know if this guy has a disease or anything. from this bad experience you had you shouldnt drink at parties and not accept anything guys give you. obviously those pills you were given were to knock you out purpously. i hope everything is good for you and wish you the best.
A
male
reader, pimpdaddy01 +, writes (15 November 2009):
From what you're telling me it sounds like you got raped. He probably beat you to stop you from fighting back but you don't remember. Try and remember. You should accuse him to the authorities.
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female
reader, me@36GLD +, writes (8 November 2009):
If nothing else, which I hope you will take care of yourself and go see a doctor, try to remember the days, the years when you were not interested in drinks and drugs from now on right after these things are offered to you. You may blackout one time and not awake. Stay away from these individuals, you don't need them-you need you sweety. God Bless you, take care and be strong.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Hi sweetheart, I kept on checking on the site yesterday and because I was watching silly stuff on the TV last night didn't end up going to bed till 2am this morning but I was worried, I can't help it.
I think it is any parents nightmare to find out their child could be hurt in ANY way and I am so glad you called your step sister and she was with you when you went to the hospital. I am relieved you have an adult with you to help you get through this.
OK everyone can say you should learn from this experience but if it was just you getting drunk then I would say, OK you had a lucky escape.
However, things progressed further on from that and I am pleased the hospital have done the toxicology report and you can actually find out what was in your system and also that other vaginal exams took place as it is on record now.
If nothing else comes out of this but this guy cannot do this to anyone else, even the sex and drugs element and others can be warned of the dangers, then some good will have come out of this horrible experience for you.
Also your friend's will come to realise how easy it is for things to progress to a point whereby you are no longer in control.
Sweetheart, I am proud of you even though you are not my daughter and I hope that I have helped to be an Aunt to you in this case.
Keep us updated on how things go and you are always welcome to mail me direct at any time in the future, even if it is just to say hi and let me know how you are doing.
We do learn from our mistakes but this is a big one to take in, so take a deep breath and let your parents know. You have your step sister with you as well and she hopefully will be able to help you talk this through with them. Let her know how much you appreciate all her help and support since yesterday over this and tell her Well Done from me as well OK.
Big hug, cuddles and a kiss sweetheart. Once you get this all off your chest, you can start to rebuild your life and know the dangers of binge drinking and help others to not make the same mistake that you did OK. You could even get your school to say about it without having to mention names as it is so relevant to other vunerable girls OK.
BFN
Lots of love.
Country Woman
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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female
reader, Melys  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Thanks for giving us an update! was thinking about your situation alot yesterday..Hope you're feeling more stronger today.Please keep us informed with regards to your hospital reports and your parents...hope all goes well. Be strong and don't give yourself a hard time...Godo luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni called my stepsister who loves an hour away to come get me and take me to the hospital. i got there and they simply examined me at first, took pictures of all of my bruises and my lip. they found that i also had long scratches down my back and my nipples were bruised. they had me tell them the whole story about how i was drinking and took the pills. they did a toxocology report and are awaiting results which should come in the next 48-72 hours. the doctors also did a vaginal exam and have determined that sex did occur last night, but because i took a shower right when i woke up on the bathroom floor this morning, there was little (but at least some) evidence. i have no internal bruising to prove that it was nonconsensual. thank god. but i have been sent home, they said i will be more comfortable and calm here and they have done all the tests they need for now. a police officer will be sent over when my parents come home in order to ask me questions about the drugs and what i think may have happened last night with him (if in fact i could have been raped). im with my stepsister (who is 22 btw), awaiting my parents arrival home. the hospital called them and told them they need to be on the next plane home. i am trying to keep busy and not think about it too much bc i will have to explain it all again when my parents arrive. thank u all, especially to country woman, i rly rly appreciate it. i will post further updates later when i know more about what is going to happen.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): Well its your own fault for drinking so much. Im not condoning what happened to you but its stupid to to drink that much and take pills from strangers and you know it. Wether you felt unloved or not all common sense did not leave you. You are capable of basic intellgience and if you know you cant stop drinking then dont start. Grow up and be sensible.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): First of all, why do you want to know if this is rape? Is that becoz you feel like you are raped and wanna press charges and you want to know if this is enough to press charges? Or are you asking to be reassured by others that what happened to you is not that bad? If it is for the first reason, I cant answer you. I don't have that legal knowledge. If it is the second reason, let me tell you what happened to you is not bad at all. Sex is not a bad thing as long as you don't get diseases or get pregnant when you don't want it. That should be your first concern. Get tested for diseases and try to take the birth control pill. Ask for medical advice. Don't worry about facing friends. We do stuff when we feel unloved. We do stuff when we get drunk. Don't blame yourself or think bad about yourself. Everyone does these things. Your true friends will understand you. You should never let past bother you. We learn from the past.. thats all. Don't let past haunt you. You are very young. You have plenty of time to find the love of your life. All the best :)
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 November 2009):
First things first, you need to go to a clinic or doctor and get the morning after pill.
If you are already taking the pill then maybe you are safe on the pregnancy side of things but I do think you need to go and get some tests as it is not just pregnancy that can be passed around.
As far as the bruises are concerned, it sounds to me like there was some sort of struggle or brutalness to what happened last night.
Sweetheart, you really do need to get yourself looked at and OK you may have bit your lip or you could have been hit by someone - how do you know eh?
Whether you were asking for it or not, your common sense was compromised when you were given two little white pills. Your friend's obviously know who this guy is and do you know who is as well.
I would ring one or more of your friend's and tell them how upset you were about your bf and if you had been thinking rationally you wouldn't have behaved like that, instead you were binge drinking to try and numb the pain of your bf and you weren't thinking straight.
If they are good friend's one of them will come and see you or meet up with you if you do go to a clinic or ER department. I may be wrong but isn't 16/17 underage for sex in the US?
Try and get some more info out of this guy but he may deny what happens and I am assuming you have washed away any evidence that there could have been sex between you? If not, get down to an ER room and they can take some details, if they consider your injuries and they take a swab then they will know if sex has taken place or not and they will mention to you about the police etc. This guy was wrong in giving you the pills as he knew what effect that would have on you and he is guilty of that apart from anything else.
How old is this guy btw?
Sweetheart, dry your tears and think rationally, you need to get yourself looked at and as soon as possible. If you have a camera in the house take photos of your bruises as evidence and of your face/lip as well. The ER department can take a toxicology report as well so they will know what you were given, it could have been an E or anything.
If I was nearby I would take you myself but I am in the UK and yes this wouldn't have happened if your parents were around so you were upset, alone and vunerable and this guy took advantage by the sounds of things, you were not able to think straight and whatever alcohol you consumed may have been made 10 times worse by the pills you took.
I think after this you need to talk to your parents and get their support and think about some sort of counselling or control re the drinking as you cannot do this any time a bf ends it with you or you get upset, you are young and able to turn this whole thing around and change your behaviour pattern, but if you do nothing, things will not change and if there was a next time it could be a whole lot worse and you could get seriously hurt.
Let me know what you decide OK as I am a worried mum in the UK and so I am sending a hug over the internet, but get moving and get checked out sooner rather than later OK. Also if you have changed your clothes, take the ones you had on last night with you as evidence OK. Also the film or digital shots of yourself as well or get them to take some.
This cannot be left, you need good strong support right now. Do you have any other family nearby who can be with you and who you trust?
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
female
reader, Melys +, writes (7 November 2009):
OK.....first of all don't panic...!
Go and get yourself checked out just in case... Can you not remember a thing? does it feel like you had sex? you may get some flashbacks...
I know when you go out and get totally smashed from alcohol, you get black outs and that could really be dangerous...and you're not in control and things like this happen. For all you know, you could have had date rape pills...is there anyway of you finding out what they were? can you remember how they made you feel?
Would you be able to chat to your parents about what happened? and it is ok to talk to this guy about this, see what he says...
Don't feel bad with yourself, it happens to the best of us! I've lost count of the amount of times I used to get drunk with mates and end up in dodgy situations when I was younger!
Just learn from this and try and have a bit more respect for yourself. I know it's so easy to turn to drink to forget all your problems but seriously, please be careful and look after yourself! next time it could be alot worse.
And by the way, no one 'asks for it'...there are just guys out there that will take advantage...especially if you're drunk...
Take this as a lesson...and move on with the knowledge of what alcohol can do to you....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): Its a bit of a grey area to be honest. This situation was of your own making - if you hadnt gone out seeking more alcohol than you knew was sensible, its doubtful it could have escalated to this point. Still, you don't know whether he actually did anything or not, those bruises could easily have happened at any other point over the night for any number of reasons. Do you know him well? You could ask him about it, and I would definitely try to change the reputation you may have earnt that night - convince people that that isnt the real you.
Honestly, I don't think this is rape - if you were saying these sorts of things to the guy, and he wasnt really in his right mind either, i doubt he maliciously took advantage of you. I think the best thing you can do is make sure you don't put yourself into this position again; learn from the mistake.
Good luck. :) xx
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