A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hate being in the state of limbo with someone you really like! I've never been in a relationship before and the guy I guess I'm dating has only been in one relationship. So together we have little to no experience with relationships. We both have established we like each other but where do we go from here? I don't like the idea of not having the title of girlfriend but is this something I wait for him to bring up, or should I? But the fact that he hasn't already leads me to question a lot of things. I wonder what's holding him back we both have the same circle of friends so I question is he embarrassed to tell his friends we are together, is he just playing games, is he telling me one thing to keep me in his back pocket but in reality he really has no feelings for me? All these thoughts pose the question is this someone I should be with period, I'm just so confused and I have no idea how to resolve the situation any advice is welcome because as it stands I'm very lost!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 I think the best idea is always deciding what YOU want, not tryng to guess what are other people's plan about you .
If it is a few months you have been dating, and you know and like him enough that you want to be his girlfriend, tell him. Tell him that ,while casual dates are fun and all, what you want for yourself is an exclusive relationship that you don't have to hide from anybody.
Of course, there is the risk that he does not want the same, - and bolts. No big loss; at least you'll have avoided being strung along by someone who does nor reciprocate your feelings.
A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (13 November 2010):
Hello.
Without further information, it is hard to read someone's motivation. I don't know how long you have known each other, if you are lovers,etc. If so, how long for? Do you go out on 'dates' - movies, dinner, etc? If you have the same circle of friends, how do the two of you behave infront of them?
However, the simplest way really is to ask. You do owe it to yourself to take control of your own life and ASK. Do not be a passive passenger to someone else. Take charge. I think tennisstar88's approach is good - play the confusion card. If he answers with he's not sure what you are ,you could then ask, what would you like me to be? IF he's still not sure - well, it all sounds very lukewarm to me and y'know, lukewarm is not really going anywhere, is it?
(It could also be that he is shy. Please just ask).
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): ~COMMUNICATION~
Since it's been established that the two of you are aware ofyou "like" of one another, it would be better to address the issue with him directly. Don't make it a monstrous issue as this is the early stage of your friendship.
Obviously the issue is a concern for you since you are here addressing it. Be honest with him with respect to what you want, and if he feels the same great. If not, then perhaps until the two of you can come to be at the same point then perhaps you two should simply keep it platonic and enjoy time with others.
It seems that you are wanting an exclusive relationship with him? If yes, then the matter definitely needs to be addressed so that you can know where you stand with him such that you can decide if it will work for you, and if not it might be best to take a step back as the friendship will deteriorated by resentful annoying conflict which isn't worth destroying friendship.
~Been there did that~
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Depends how long have you guys been in this grey area of "talking, getting to know each other"? If it's been at least a month or 2 then you need to bring forth this topic..so you two can freely discuss it. It's all in how you ask..next time preferably face to face ask him, "So I see we have been getting to know each other but I'm confused as to what our status is?"..play the confused card which you are. That way you got this topic out in the open so you two can discuss and come to a conclusion. COMMUNICATION is key it saves you a lot of trouble and confusion in the long run.
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