A
female
age
51-59,
*issa13
writes:My ex and I have been broken up since End of Nov. 2009. He immediately started dating someone and after 6 months of no contact shows up to my work and says he still cares for me and that he can't stop thinking of me. Well he is still with the same girl and i was confused as hell. I called him and told him to stay clear of me until he is single or ready to get back together. But I still think about him constantly. What do I do?
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female
reader, karen1989  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Your both still thinking about eachother obviously still crazy about eachother. couples who are like this should never of broken up in the first place.
What you need to find out now is if he means what hes claimed 'i can't stop thinking about you' Is he prepared to leave her for you? If not then hes playing games and you shouldnt trust anything that hes says.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 July 2010):
 It's really hard when an ex resurfaces, because it's so much easier to forget someone when you don't have to come into contact with them. He showed up fully knowing this, because getting you to think about him is exactly what he wants. He was trying to hook you into being his Plan B. The fact that it didn't work on you shows just how strong you are without him.
Even if he does end up single and calls you, ignore him! He'll only do the same thing to you that he did to his current girlfriend.
All you can really do for now is distract yourself any time he comes to mind. Over time, you'll think about him less, until you stop thinking about him almost completely.
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A
female
reader, SusieN +, writes (14 July 2010):
Good for you! I would want my bf to love me, and respect me, enough to NOT ask me to be "the cheating slut". (Sorry, but that's the message your ex-bf is giving off. He also lacks a backbone and is so insecure that he can't go girlfriendless for a split second.) You deserve to be love and respected, do you really want to be with someone and always have to check if he's cheating?
I would suggest you have a girl's night out with some of your trustworthy friends (people you don't mind accidentally spilling your guts with and people who can empathize). You are single again! You can do ALL the things you couldn't do when you were dating (like go out to a guy's strip bar with all your other single girl friends). You can make it fun or serious (i.e. a quiet dinner with friends while you chat about nothing).
It might not exactly resolve the situation, but a little fun or serious talk with trusted friends can alleviate a lot of stress and help you stand firm on whatever you decide.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 You do exactly what you told him to do. why is he saying these things to you while he is still with her?? if he really missed you and regrets the breakup he would break up with her then come to you to tell you those things......otherwise he's either a cheater or trying to turn you into his back-up girl. It takes time to get over someone, cut all contact with him and move on with your life hun.........be strong!!!
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