| A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Recently, a new girl moved to my school and has felt very homesick and has been kind of bullied by some of the people in our class. I was the only person who stuck with her through all of this, the only person who made her feel better according to her, but then the second everything becomes fine she ditches me and goes lusting after the guy she likes. She doesn't even trust me, and it seems that she has forgotten all of the effort I have put in to make her feel welcome. What do I do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 January 2012):
 People aren't always grateful, or know how to value the great things in their lives. You'd be surprised to know how many people easily throw away good solid friends for nothing at all, especially in your age group. With the years you learn to appreciate an value good friendships, and identify what is a good friendship and what is a toxic one. But it takes wisdom and experience. Unfortunately this girl doesn't have neither.
What you could do is tell her how you feel about this. As a final word, sort of. I don't know if your friendship will ever come back, but at least you can tell her that you stuck by her and that it hurts that she doesn't value that. That you are a good friend, and that you thought she was better than to throw that away.
But you can't be everyones friend. I've had to drop many people out of my life because I'm very picky when it comes to friendships. If a friend isn't loyal to me they are out. If a person is selfish and doesn't support me when I need them because they can't be bothered.. then they're out. Friendships are tested. The ones who can stand the tests of drama, time, boyfriends and girlfriends, and everything else life throws at you, well THOSE friends are true friends. This girl, well, she wasn't ever a true friend I'm afraid, as she didn't pass the test.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 January 2012):
 You chalk it up to a bad experience with an unappreciative young woman who doesn't really deserve your attentions...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (1 January 2012):
I see and understand what is upsetting you. You feel used. The truth is, no matter what you do or give, it does not put her under any obligation to you. I would still tell her how you are feeling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012): Ignore her.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Smile, you're a terrific guy!
In the future try not to be too available cuz it's what makes one interesting. Have your own stuff going on!
Moreover, keep your standards way high! Never settle for anyone who wants to give you less than you deserve.
When you meet the right girl.. she will do for you what you do for her. You'll meet her one day! jest have to sift through some trash before it happens. Chin up (:
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 January 2012):
 You did the right thing and that's what matters. Sigh.. some times virtue has to be its own reward.
Perhaps you can talk to her and tell her you regret the distance that has been created between you and has no reason to exist ... then the ball is in her court .
Mind , though, that if you are complaining because she is not being a good friend, and now she is ignoring you once you've socially broken the ice for her, you have a point. If you are complaining because she is lusting after soemone else when she was supposed to lust after you just because you have been nice to her ... no she wasn't. You have offered her friendship, not romance. If you liked her romantically , you should have acted as a suitor and not as a buddy.
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A
male
reader, tobson +, writes (1 January 2012):
Dear 13-15 y/o male American,
Be proud to have done the right thing and having stood up for your ideals.
Unfortunately there is also nothing you can do. Apparently she never was a true friend to you and everything you could do would only hurt the good person you are. Be glad to have seen her true face so soon, I am certain that there is somebody worth your attention, she is not.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012): You should confront her and let her know that she's been a terrible person to you. You were her friend when nobody wasn't yet, she ditches you as soon as she got the chance.
I'm sorry she doesn't like you but girls can be like that. You'd be surpised how telling her off could actually make her like you, because you're showing her how you feel and you aren't putting up with her crap. When you speak up around women they listen.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (1 January 2012):
 She's obviously not a very good friend... Just forget about her. She's moved on, so should you. There are probably plenty of other nicer people at your school!
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