A
female
age
30-35,
*isingstar624
writes:So I am dating this guy, we have been seeing each other for a little over a month. Him and I started dating after 3 weeks or so of me breaking up with my ex of a year and a half. Now after a month of not talking to him my ex and I are starting to talk again. When i spend time with the guy that I am dating I tend to compare them whether or not I actually want to. Certain things that the guy that I am dating (lets call him chad) kind of freak me out. He seems to be really into me falling for me quickly, yet I still talk to my ex almost every other day and find myself calling him when I am alone. I broke up with my ex because I thought we were in an unhealthy co-dependant relationship and I am wondering if we should get back together. Whenever I am with chad I am happy but whenever I am alone I miss my ex. Is Chad just a warm body to lay next to me or is my ex just the person I call when I feel lonely? Whenever I think about committing to one or the other I tend to freak out, its like I want both, yet I know I can't have both. Who do I choose? My past man who knows me really well and makes me light up, or the new one who is physically here (the ex lives 4 1/2 hours away) and who may not know me too well but seems eager to be with me. The problem is I feel slightly awkward around chad. When we have sex I can't really watch him or want to do it more than about once a day. He wanted to take a shower with me and we did but I barely wanted to touch him. I couldn't help but think of how intimate showers were with my ex. Both of them want me in their lives, but both will not share. In 2 days I need to know who I must choose. Who would you choose?
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broke up, get back together, miss my ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Ever considered just being single for a while? Its not fair to the new guy if you're not over your ex and it would be silly to get back with an ex that you'll just fall into the same co-dependent rut with again.
Don't be one of those girls who dates simply because they want someone to snuggle at night... they get used, big time.
A
female
reader, katheriner  +, writes (21 November 2011):
I think you are still hung up on your ex anyway Chad does not stand a chance. Being co dependent is what you do in relationships. Sit down on your own take a few days out from either guy and think when your head is clear
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