A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I slept with my fiance's dad. Yes, I know what I did was wrong but I was very drunk at the time. Very, very drunk.My boyfriend was away on a training course at the time.I found out I was pregnant by his dad a few weeks ago.I feel a bit guilty and haven't told my fiance yet.The pregnancy isn't obvious yet, so he won't have noticed.I haven't told my fiance, fearing his reaction.I think I should bring the baby up anyway as our own, since I doubt his dad would be interested in bringing the child up anyway, and my family does not like abortions to happen (I come from a large family).Personally I would go for an abortion, but is it too late now?What do I do? I can't think straight and have started over-eating and drinking to try and get through this.
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abortion, drunk, fiance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): I agree with r_a_w_r1645... Honestly though,,, why do all the other females think this Baby should be killed? Did the baby do something wrong?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): Oh my God! My opinion is that what ever you get out of this one......you deserve! I don't only feel sorry for your fiance but also for his Dad. I know personally i would hate to be in either ones shoes. What relationship is this Baby going to be to all you guys?
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female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 High 5 Anonymous male and Q! :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): Hi there,Unfortunatley my advice is to tell your boyfriend, whether or not the sex with HIS DAD meant anything, he has the right to know, otherwise you are basing your relationship on lies and deception. Now peronally, you disgust me, shagging your fiance's dad is appalling and peope like you are what make this world an evil place in my opinion, feel free to disagree if anyone condones this behavour.Tell him! If if stays with you he's a fool, he is out of your league ( your league being trampy whore's) and let him move on with his life to someone who is worth his time. I comment on this site alot, I am usually one of the nicer, more gentle commenter's, but you are beyond help, in my 64 years on this earth I have never come across a person who would commit such an atrocitie.Try to use some sort of human kindness... tell him and whether or not you abort the baby is your business, but tell him that he is not the dad, doing so would be an act of satan, and I cannot believe the commenter's who condone this! Think if it was happening to you! I am danm well sure youir opinion would be different
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): The advice from anon female: 'Abortion right away, do not mess up this baby's life' could well be the single most stupid comment I've ever heard in my entire life. I never value the opinions of people who align with either extreme in the Great Abortion Debate. By the sounds of it, it's too late anyway. Look on the bright side, you're about to have a child, another human life, which is a pretty amazing thing, and it's not fair on the child to let this be overshadowed by the circumstances surrounding his/her creation. From a moral point of view, you should tell your fiance, but I'm sure you won't. You certainly wouldn't be the first or last woman to bring up a kid while leaving its 'father' blissfully unaware that he actually isn't the father. I'm aware of more than one case. I suspect that if the true figures about how common this situation is were to be established and publicly made known, society would collapse overnight. Sleep well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Don't bring it up as if it's his, gosh, that is evil, absoloutely evil.
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male
reader, Stian +, writes (6 July 2009):
Do you love your boyfriend? I think that is the main thing you have to ask yourself. You were drunk when you slept with his dad, and his dad should really be feeling very ashamed of what he's done to both you and his own son.Would be good to know how you are getting on now.
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female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (6 July 2009):
If your boyfriend is smart (and good at math) he'll figure out that the baby isn't his anyway, because he was away on course.. especially if you two use contraception. Don't let the "pro-life" people tell you that you can't do something. Don't let them guilt you into making a decision you have to live with for the rest of your life.
There are many pros and cons to each situation, the best way for you to make a rational decision is to sit down and write them out.
We can't give you THE answer, but we can provide you with advice. I hope that what you see here you'll take as opinions as they are not the only (or best) options available to you.
Though, you should however tell your fiance. You're going to need to eventually.. It's just too tough to not tell him. You should tell him ahead of time.. so he can think about it. He will probably leave you.. but unfortunately that's what you deserve. If he doesn't decide to leave you he might actually want to keep and raise the baby. That's less likely, but there's always that odd chance.. he could also want to work it through with you but want you to abort the baby, but in the end it's your body-your decision.
You'll need to let your fiance's father know as well. The three of you might be able to work through it and keep it a secret.
In my opinion, it's best just to be completely honest with all of the parties involved and not bring it to the Jerry Springer Show.
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Well... you could have the baby, but then your gonna have to tell the father and your fiance... or keep quiet. In which case you will feel pretty guilty. If you think you can deal with the guilt then thats your call- I dont know you. If you tell the men, I think its safe to say that your relationship will be over- your fiance is not gonna want to raise his half-brother. If you and him had kids... then the first child would be its uncle/brother... and thats pretty messed up.
You could give it up for adoption. But in that case your fiance will need to know- he would want to know why your giving up the child that he assumes is his. You could say it was the result of a one night stand- but its best to lie as little as possible.
Or third option- abortion. This is relativly the 'easy' way out. You abort the feutus before anyone knows, and nobody will know any different. However terminating a pregnancy leaves mental scars- you know yourself if you feel you could go through with it. Go to a docter asap, he can give you more advice on your situation.
Keep things to a low- these things have a nasty habit of cropping up years later.
Good luck! xox
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female
reader, r_a_w_r1645  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 even tho im 14 DONT get an abortion. im totally against them, becuz its like u not wanting someone in this world is like someone who hates u not wanting u so they could just go kill u. really they should make abortions illegal i think. and i feel really bad for you. i dont no if u should tell ur fiance. cuz i dont no how he woud react or forgive u. if u really dont want the baby, give it up for adoption.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): yes abortion right away. do not mess up this "baby" life. you have proven how irresponsible you are. drunk or not, f*cking your fiances father is inexcusable. you say you "feel a bit guilty" wow. you should be ashamed of yourself. i hope yu are not thinking of marrying this fiance. imagine you alowing both him and his father to f*ck you. and from what you write - you will allow it. so yes, please camp outside a clinic for an abortion. this is the best decision you will ever make.
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male
reader, Dalmatian +, writes (5 July 2009):
Please do not kill your baby. Give the baby up for adoption. You will carry the guilt of killing your baby forever. People make mistakes - please do not compound themistake by killing the baby. Do the right thing and let acouple who really wants a child and is able to provide for a child raise this your baby.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): I believe the latest you can get an abortion is 24 weeks after conception. If that's what you want to do, you should do it.
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (5 July 2009):
you wanna live w/the gult that this baby isnt even ur bfs, ur bf will not b interested in raising a baby that belongs to his father, thats like ur bfs step brother, GET THE ABORTION!
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female
reader, ummscorpio1030b +, writes (5 July 2009):
Wow...yes what you did was wrong...I understand that you were drunk shit happens. I was almost in a situation like this I cheated on my boyfriend though I was pregant by this other guy. I don't believe in abortion at all but I was willing to get one just to stay with my boyfriend cuz I love him. I wish it wasn't to late becacuse that would of bee the best option for you...with out him knowing anything because he going to be hurt... don't hide it from him please...I know this my determine y'all relationship but you have to be honest with him. If you have to tell him you don't remember anything at all.... but not telling him is going to hurt him more...what does his father think. Look if you are under 5 months get the abortion people get it done later then that, your family don't have to know if your pregant if you really love your fiance get it done. Because if you don't its going to be hard for him to look at that baby...its going to be his sister... remember everything is not for everyone ears meaning your family don't have to know..
Let me know how everything went please...good luck
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (5 July 2009):
 it depends how many weeks pregnant you are.
you must see the doctor as soon as possible and see your options available.
i suggest u think hard before u bring a life into this world becoz being a single parent its not easy.
if you feel strong enough to cope as a single parent and can give the child love then have the baby.
you have to come clean with your fiance else the guilt will manifest thru over drinking (which u shouldnt be doing as ur pregnant)
good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): it depends on how many pregnant you are, i would go and speak with your doctor as soon as possible
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