A
female
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*ackie69
writes:I did something very wrong on tuesday night.Slept with my ex!He asked me to come around as friends and see him.then he asked for a cuddle. feelings between us were strong and one thing let to another. It was fantastic though. Felt just the same passion and love there between us.He said he has "forgotten how intense it was to be with me" and looked totally overwhelmed with it all.Straight away after i knew it was wrong.I have wtritten about me and my ex on many an occasion.I am still in love with him but he continually says we are just friends and he can't have a relationship!So today (thursday) i decided to ask him how he felt about the other night?He said "I havent got time to think. howabout u?"i just said "It had messed with my head again"He asked " Y, we are just friends!"I said " I dont know how we can be. couldnt imagine not being your friend but lets keep our distance if thats what u want"He said " I agree"i just dont understand how he tells me he loves my company, cuddles, hugs and wants me in his life.but... doesnt want to commit again in a relationship. why does he deny his feelings?or is he just a bastard i should forget!?
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female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (17 October 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question He has left me alone since i told him to and i have received an apology off him.It has messed my emotions up for a very long time thoug and i dont know if i can take that apology seriously.He has an awful air of awkwardness and shyness around me and can hardly look at me! dont know whats going on with him. He doesnt want anyone else but doesnt want me as his gf, so its his loss!!thanks alot!I do not need his problems as well as my own! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Wonderful Jackie, I've been reading your story and I'm glad you've now seen the light.. I won't repeat what has already been said. But you will feel happier when you move on with your life, but it will take time. Don't forget that any time you feel weak or feel sad, there are people hear at Dear Cupid who will understand. Lean on your friends, your family and get all the support you can to get over this... Take care, blessings.
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (10 October 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all I am going to do exactly what you say and already have in fact!
And I feel fantastic!!
xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Hi, hlskitten is sooo right. Sorry, you are being played with, he is toying with your emotions. It may be unintentional, he may not realize that what he is doing is extremely unfair on you, but I rather think that he has some inkling that he's a bast**d to treat you this way.
The thing you have to do is to get ANGRY at him and the shabby way he's been treating you. Right now, you think the love you feel for him will change things between you. I'm sorry, but it won't.
You are going to have to ignore him, or treat him like an extremely idiotic puppy dog that runs up to you, humps your leg for a bit, then bounds away to sniff other dogs' backsides. And that means with disdain, and a rolled-up newspaper at the ready.
THWACK him if he comes near you again or if he texts you and wants to tell you how gorgeous you are and wants to have a bit of a cuddle. You need to make it very clear to him that you are not going to tolerate being used as some sort of ego-booster for him. He treats you this way, not because he loves you, but because being desired and loved by you makes him feel all macho and hot and sexy, and no doubt somewhat better about himself. After all, if you're not really angry with him, then he's not doing anything wrong, is he? That's how he's thinking.
Well, time to change THAT attitude and retrain this poorly behaved slobbering hounddog. And you have to do it, so that you can move on and find a decent guy who will want to be with you! He's got you dangling on a hook and you are allowing him to do this. Stop it.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Sorry to be blunt but people have helped you try to make sence of it before, but you didn't listen hunni. Everything everyone has said has been proved right. He is reeling you in, then when you show you care, he flings you back out again.
He's a hunter.
Until you mean it when you tell him to not contact you, he will keep doing so.
Have more pride! Because as soon as he meets someone new that catches his interest, he will be off and never contacting you again. Aren't you wiser to be the one in control?
I dont see what anyone can say, I just hope some miracle comes along and saves you, even if its him meeting someone else. It would be way better for your self asteem in the long run.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (9 October 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is an update from me!I am still having him contact me and pester me. Texting me every now and again still telling me how he thinks of me and how we were. Gets aroused at the thought of me, couldn't hug me because he'd get a hardon etc etc. Why would he tell me that?he tells me I'm a wonderful person who deserves love etc. But when I try to move on and get on with things he'll text again telling me I'm georgeous and asking what I'm doing. He hangs around my house etc and comes into the village all the time in his vehicle.But.... when I let my guard down go with the flow say I feel the same and show I still love him then he'll run away blind and say he just wants to be on his own and wants to be friends.I don't imagine the way he looks at me and how awkward he is around me when we are with other people in public!Can anyone make sense of what I am telling you?Please!! xxxxx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (27 August 2008):
 good luck hun keep positive it will work out in the end better for you and he is not worth the wonderful energy that you have keep smiling good luck aphexy xx
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (27 August 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told im not to contact me and to keep away from me and he has!I feel alot better for this. and know that he is just an arse realy! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): Unfortunately, this is a "he wants his cake and eat it too" situation. It seems like he's just in it "for the moment" and people can get caught up on the physical "at the moment". Leave it alone, don't get caught up in it because he told you himself you're just friends...take it for what it is...
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 August 2008):
He's a user, but not sure about a barsteward.
He's said he doesn't want anything more than friendship (with the occasional shag thrown in by the looks of it) and only you can control if that happens or not. Dont let yourself be used if he's said he doesn't want to get back with you.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (21 August 2008):
hrm its a very odd situation but it seems he is not saying what is on his mind.. but by the seems of it you should keep a distance and get on with your life because he doesnt seem to be willing to make a difference he seems he has issues he needs sorting out..maybe he wants his cake and to eat it..best idea keep your distance and move forward with your own life.. hope that helps aphexy xx
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