A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiya im 16 and female .. i really liked this boy and he didnt really like me so i thought i would sleep with him in order to make him like me...a day after he didnt talk to me.... we havent spoken for weeks..we spoke more before we had sex...what does he want?? x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 God my heart goes out to you. This guy was a real jerk to you. Why would you sleep with someone who you know doesnt like you. Alot of guys pretend to like someone to get them to sleep with them and reject them afterwards. He didnt even pretend to like you and you knew this. You have let yourself down here. You are worth alot more than this and need to have respect for your body as if you dont no one else will. You can easily get a reputation for this sort of behaviour and people can be very mean. However i really do think you thought he would like you afterwards. I hope you have learned not to give yourself away so easily in the future. Wait until you find someone who really likes you for who you are and not just sex. You really are worth a hell of alot more than that. Take care of yourself and just put this down to a mistake.
Aunty t
A
female
reader, KAZZ +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Firstly I believe absolutely no-one should take advantage of someone, whether they be male or female and whether the actions are sexual or not. If you sleep with someone that isn't a long term partner or you aren't in a stable, mature relationship with then there is that small percentage of you being 'used'.
Sleeping with someone to make them like you really isn't the way to go. Having sex with someone should be something that brings a 'couple' together (but not in the way that you suggested) something that two people express their own true loving feelings for one another. Not to be used to bring a freindship into place.
I agree with TasteOfIndia. Guys do loose respect over girls that put out so quickly. If you take this approach then most guys will feel as though you are 'easy' and believe me this isn't something you should be proud of. It can be a right turn off for men.
Don't take my answer too harshly, I'm simply telling you my opinion. Try not to let it get to you, yes you made a mistake, but you've learnt from that. If you do truly like this guy then I suggest giving him some time to 'mull things over'. Maybe he feels the same as you? Have you actually approached him to tell him how you feel? I'm sure you haven't 'ruined' the friendship you did have, but think careful about the way in which people are going to feel (including yourself) after such actions
KAZZ x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Hi sweetness,
Well, you've learned a valuable lesson in a hard way here, doll. Sleeping with a guy is NOT a good way to make him like you... at all. First off, you need to learn that a guy should like you for you before you give him the honor of sleeping with you. Secondly, you're not giving the best impression of yourself by going up to a guy and sleeping with him straight off the bat.
Not a lot of guys will turn down sex, especially not a high school kid who has hormones running amuck. You gave it to him, and he accepted... but just because a guy sleeps with you doesn't necessarily make him like you. The challenge is over! He already got you! What more does he need from you?
Next time you're crushing on someone, don't use sex as a pick up. Guys will sometimes lose respect for girls who put out so quickly. I don't mean to be mean, I'm just being honest.
I think you just made a mistake... give this guy some space and maybe tell him how you feel in a few weeks. Be honest, just say something like: "hey, I wanted to let you know that I really like you. I think it might have been a mistake to sleep together so soon. I don't want you to think less of me, but I really, really like you and I want to be with you." - if he's not going for it, let it go. There will be other fish in the sea!
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): You probably regret sleeping with him now don't you? By sleeping with someone it doesn't mean that they are going to suddenly like you. Seeing as he doesn't like you he probably used you for the sex. Harsh i know but true. So move on.
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (9 March 2007):
 This will be a hard pill to swallow, but here goes. The guy did not want anything. I am going to try my best to tell you what you did in an objective sense and why it did not work.
The first thing you admit is that the guy was not very interested in you. You liked him, so you attempted to "force" emotional closeness using sex. That is doomed to failure because people cannot control their emotions, we feel how we feel. The best you could hope for in that case was a relationship with the guy based on nothing more than duty, which just does not last in the long term.
The only analogy I can make is this. You were trying to sell a car to a man who did not want any of the models you were carrying. You thought you could change his mind by offering him a test drive. The test drive costs you time and money, but you are confident in your brand and hoped to sway the customer. The customer chose not to buy from you because despite the test drive he was not interested.
I just hope you can see from a birds eye view that you were using sex to try an manipulate this guy and it failed. We all have lost loves, missed opportunities, and bad relationships it's just a part of life that some don't work out.
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