A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi Helping people. My issue is with school. A few weeks ago I asked to move a class a little earlier than usual as weren't going to have anything else on. I and some others wanted to finish early that day. 5 classmates thought we were going to have class at the new arranged time and made a fuss about it. I then decided to email the teacher and cancel the new arranged class time and revert back to the original time due to one person having an issue and said they weren't worth the hassle. In error I emailed it to the whole class. I own up and admit that was my bad. I didnt name anyone in the class. The people who actually had the problem dont turn up to class and come in rarely. If these people had come in they would have heard other class members talking about it. Anyhow since then half the class isnt talking to me over it. Should I say something? I dont want to fight anyone but these people are starting to test my nerves with their spoilt self-absorbance and when they do come in now all they do is talk. Do I need to bother with them or take the road that let's it come back on them. Some of the teachers dont like my class for this reason now and its showing. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 December 2019):
 We'll have agree to disagree. I think you are missing my point, possibly because I did not make it clear enough. To simplify , I'll just say that I was , and am, familiar with academic life and environments, and I also have friends' children attending college * in your country * -and..no, that's not normally the way one deals with this kind of thing.
Let the mourner talk personally with the administration and work out a solution / compromise for HER own
° exceptional° predicament.
As for the people voicing their opinions, why shouldn't they ? they have paid enrollment and tuition just like you , and monitoring their attendance is surely not your business.
You seem astonished and irked that half of the class is annoyed with you. I think expecting half of the class NOT to be annoyed is either naive or entitled.
For the rest , though, you are quite right : you did not name names, and anyway what you said does not sound too offensive. Well, I guess maybe it would have been better to say " it wasn't worth the hassle " ( i.e. the act of rescheduling " rather than " they weren't worth the hassle " which might have been taken personally, but all in all you were just expressing your frustration in an acceptable, civilized way.
That's why personally I would tell you to just let the whole thing rest , and die down on its own. No need to stir up more controversy and drama. You and half of the class may agree to disagree , and accept that, in this particular instance , you see things differently and have different priorities. I hope nobody will want to drag on a silly feud over something like this, - and if they do, well, apparently they weren't your bosom buddies anyway, right ?, so you've got nothing to lose.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2019): Can we get something clear. I own up to sending the email. It was not just my idea alone. A group of us that attend regularly spoke about the class change on that day. One girl had a family funeral to attend. Should she have mourn in college to fill a mandatory attendance sheet? It wasn't just my idea. Yes it is gift but people that don't attend normally voiced their opinions when it didn't even affect them. I did have respect by asking the lecturers was it possible to move. The change wasn't demanded. I asked was it possible. Finding a venue is another difficult thing to do. The explanations had been given and it was up to the lecturers to decide if the change would be allowed. I did go through the right channels. I know they are annoyed about the email. You don't have to be blind to see that. I didn't name anyone in the email. I could have been talking about myself for all they know.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (2 December 2019):
My opinion does not change. In your course you can change times… as in any courses, if it there's a serious reason or an emergency, otherwise schedule variations ( which anyway in any decent school / college / university must be approved by the administration ) are an unnecessary hassle for the staff and for at least some of the students . " Wanting to be home early for the weekend " is not a God- given right ; it's a privilege , and like any privilege you may not just demand it- you may negotiate it, - if you ask it nicely , and if the exercise of your privilege does not step on too many feet. To get home for the weekend ?... The weekend is Saturday and Sunday !, you end on Thursday ! Plus, you see like a big ordeal , a big inconvenience having , for once, having to " sit around " for 3 hours ( which you don't have to. Go to the library, go somewhere and... study ,since you are a student ), but you haven't thought that for other people changing times might be as big an inconvenience . They may be as reluctant to change schedule as you are reluctant to "sit around ", and for equally good reasons , or even better. So it would only be polite and considerate and , well, normal to ask °the whole class° what they think , before arranging changes . Now , maybe it's also normal that everybody has got their own preferences and agendas, maybe it's natural that one prefers to further their own agenda rather than other people's , but... why then your classmates are self-absorbed persons, and you are NOT self-absorbed ,instead ?...
It's a class , not private tuition. Decisions should be taken collegially,permissions should be asked before changing things for other people too.
I think it's your attitude , ( for instance your inclination to call self absorbed and idiots people who just happen to have different priorities from yours ) , not the little trivial episode of the group text per se, which is at the root of your current difficulties. Which, after all , maybe are not really difficulties... after all, since you think these people are all spoilt and idiots- why would you want to talk to them anyway ? Why would you need to be all chummy with people you feel contempt for ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2019): You pissed them off; so you'll just have to suck-it-up until the storm passes!
They have every right to be perturbed, if you caused any disruption in class schedule. You should send them a group apology, or do it before the class.
It may not seem like such a big-deal to you; and maybe that's what irritates them the most. Apparently, up to now, you haven't apologized for the misunderstanding and inconvenience! Most people reschedule classes directly through the professor's office, or go online for class rescheduling. Some still have to go through the school registration office. It's a hassle for administrative staff when nobody knows exactly where you are, and have to go through other channels to find you in an emergency!
You chose to be lazy, and messaged the professor! Who's fault is it that you didn't check your recipient-contact before you hit the send button!
Maybe they're not the only ones spoiled and self-absorbed!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2019): The teachers don't have to deal with this. In my course we can change times. We finish on a Thursday for the weekend. Some of the class have to travel for more than 3 hours to get home for the weekend. There was no issue with the teacher. The issue is my class mates being self absorbed idiots who can comprehend a class change for one week to allow people to finish earlier and go home instead of sitting arounds for 3 hours waiting for a class.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (1 December 2019):
Your post is a bit confusing and TBH I am not 100% sure I've got the gist of your quandary, anyway I'd like to say :
1 ) no, next time do not ask to move back , or to move forward , a class just because that day its time does not suit you well. . It's a school, ! not a beauty parlor's appointment, there's a reason and a system by which the schedule has been worked out the way it is . This time you and a few classmates want to finish early, next time some other classmates will want to start late and finish late… that poor teachers ! they would never see the end of it. Show some respect.
2 ) If you DO feel that you need to change the schedule, it is better to ask what your classmates think first , then if all agree, or at least a wide majority agrees, you can ask the teacher. This way , it's way more considerate toward the other students , and you avoid the back- and-forths and misunderstandings you had this time.
Regardless : I can't see that something really amiss or worrisome has happened anyway. You simply sent a group text by mistake and it was supposed to be for the teacher.It does not sound like a terribly big deal, you were just stating your opinion, but you weren't insulting or badmouthing anybody, were you now ? I don't think you should say anything or complain about anything, just ignore all the fuss rather than contributing to it ! and in a short time it will all boil down.
You also do not have to fight anyone or appease anyone or whatever, - what other people do in class, if they attend or not , pay attention or not- is not your problem and no skin off your nose. Let the teachers worry about that ! , while you mind your own attendance, profit and results.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2019): I agree with Youcannotbeserious. I'm not sure why class times are your problem. I'm also not sure why your classmates are annoyed with you. And why are you the one making decisions about when the class is?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 December 2019):
 I am puzzled. Why is this YOUR problem? Why are the teachers not getting to grips with this?
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