A
female
age
36-40,
*traightTalker
writes:I'm 24 in a stable relationship with a man who i am very much in love with and feel totally comfortable around him. i have been sexually active since i was sixteen and had my first orgasm at about 8. my problem is that i seem to be missing out in the orgasm department big time! I can definately orgasm but its hardly the toe curling body shaking multiple intense experience that other women describe. I get a pleasent but quite mild tingly feeling in my clitoris that lasts for all of 2 seconds, then its over! whether its through masturbation, vibrator, my partner etc. I have tried everything from teasing myself to buying g spot vibrators (waste of money as it appears i dont have one) but nothing works! i do my pelvic floor muscles regularly. does anyone else have this problem or any tips that actually work because i have tried everything in the book!
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clitoris, g-spot, money, muscle, orgasm, teasing, vibrator Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): You mentioned squirts from your vagina but not orgasms, that can probably just be secretion some woman secrete alot, that seems to be the case with you. The contractions are probably from you getting aroused, some women start to tighten when the get aroused, ask your man to REALLY stimulate your clit with his tounge, the finger in the vagina doesnt really do much but he can still do it simultaneously, using his index finger pulling it towards himself, not to forget about regular foreplay, as i also mentioned earlier during intercourse use your vaginal muscle to grip his penis by doing this his penis is better stimulating you because your vagina is holding on to his penis as he is thrusting. good luck
A
female
reader, StraightTalker +, writes (16 November 2009):
StraightTalker is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone, thank you for all your answers so far! as for the g spot thing...its not that i dont have one as i made it sound, it would seem that just cant feel it thats all! My boyfriend can feel the ridged bit inside when he feels for it (he is just as keen as me to find my "holy grail") and he can feel it swelling (as a g spot is meant to)and he can feel me getting wetter and wetter after a while he says i have very strong definitive contractions in my vagina and i practically squirt liquid out...He says its like i have had one of these "magical female orgasms" Only problem is i cant actually feel any of this myself its so weird! its like my vagina is numb! I thouht it was him slobbering at first! previous sexual partners have said similar things about me "cumming" when i haven't..So there's a bit more info...maybe im just not made to have good orgasms! anyway im determined so keep the good advice "cumming" please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Cunning Linguist - yay!
BTW, I followed "DoubleM"'s link and learned something more.
Thanks, DM, it shows you are never too old to learn......
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A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Sorry anon replier, the royalty checks are just piling up here and I didn't know how to get them to you.
Been really busy on the the sequel lately.
"The Cunning Linguist's Guide To Choosing Good Women"
I am afraid it will not make the splash that the last one did...well I cant seem to finish it either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): "duceOO", you have stolen my technique, you dog!
I confirm that it works though, definitely.
It's not all about technique though; when it comes to sex, all women (and some men) know that it starts in the mind long before it reaches the rude bits!
For really good sex you need to be intellectually stimulated first - to use an old-fashooned term, woo her first and prepare her mentally for what is about to happen. Men can be ready in moments and don't usually have any problem cumming, but a woman needs time and effort, which, if taken, will reward you well!
Actually, it's not even about penetration, necessarily; some of the best sex need not involve penetration at all – it’s much more about clitoral and g-spot stimulation.
Allow enough time and effort to give her a number of orgasms in this way and when yuo do penetrate her, she will be SO aroused and ready she likely won't even care if you blow your lot way too soon!
Should I be giving this all away for nothing?
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male
reader, duce00 +, writes (16 November 2009):
You could try this idea. I discovered it by experimenting with an ex and it really changed her world. I am sure somebody has laid claim to the technique and created a nifty title but I will just try to keep it simple. Your boyfriend will obviously have to fill in the finer points because all the little extra touches and foreplay make a huge difference. That is the "special" stuff that only your lover really knows.
So...once I have gotten to the point of having my mouth on her vagina I would lightly suck her clit into my mouth and flick with my tongue at the same time. While I do this I would insert my index and ring finger and stimulate her g-spot at the same time. The g-spot stimulation can be like the "come hither" motion or even a rotational motion all around the g-spot. Variation is good. It is a lot of stimulation at one time and is best not to over do it in a single session because it can be kinda over kill.
One girlfriend of mine ejaculated for the first when I used this technique. Her orgasm was so strong she had to be held for a long while because she couldn't stop crying. She described it as the most intense feeling of pleasure she ever had and it was like a very strong spiritual experience.
My mind was rather blown too because I had no idea what female ejaculation was and I had just stumbled on to this technique while adventuring with my mouth and hands.
Sniff sniff...I miss that girl...Ohhh I was so foolish to let that one get away!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Its quite easy for me to reach orgasm, but they came in a big range of intensity. Although i never had an orgasm with oral, i enjoy it, but not so much really.i have never had a very intense orgasm with my boyfriend. Now, that we are having a long distance relationship, sometimes before i go to bed i imagine us making love, every part of it, for like 30-40min, an hour, it makes me so hot, that just by touching myself for like 10 seconds, i have the most intense orgasm i ever had. you know, they are so intese i fell muscle contractions in my vagine by itself, for almost a minute after. My legs shake if i try to walk... its just crazy!Why dont you try doing that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Here is some good information:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/ic_femaleorgasms.shtml
http://www.sexinfo101.com/pw_cunnilingus.shtml
http://www.sexinfo101.com/cunnilingussecrets.shtml
http://www.sexinfo101.com/kb_mastlad.shtml
Have fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): Im 23 and was in the same boat 4 a long time with my partner at the time. i jux could not orgasm even thru stimulating my clit. here was his solution (he felt loss of his manhood) we tried anal sex that was the most intense orgasm i ever had. we learned thru trial and error
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): I have only been with 5 women sexually, so my database isn't very big. However, in general, it seems that they had their best or only orgasms with oral. My wife can have multiple good orgasms with oral. She also doesn't have much sensitivity in her G-spot, but combining finger stimulation there with oral does make her oral orgasms a little better. It is difficult, but not impossible, to make her orgasm with intercourse, but that is the case for most women from what I have read. Masturbation also produces less intense orgasms than oral ones for her. She doesn't shake, but she definitely tenses up and they seem to last about 5 to 10 seconds most of the time.
Another women who I dated years ago could only have one orgasm in a session and she only had them with oral clitoral stimulation. They were very intense, more so than anyone else I have been with. She would tense and tighten up and spasm. She said that she could have less intense ones with intercourse sometimes, but she liked the oral ones the best, so that is what I did for her every time we had sex. My wife's are not nearly as intense, but she has had up to 5 in a row. I dated both of them for about 3 months 30 years ago, so I had a direct comparison.
I don't remember the rest (3) really having orgasms, at least not often, but that was 30 years ago, so I might have forgotten.
I have read a lot of articles or discussions on this and it is estimated that between 50% and 70% of women don't orgasm with intercourse. My experience tells me that it really takes oral stimulation to make most women have the best orgasms. Finger stimulation just doesn't seem to work nearly as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): Good God! Double M in 'I have pleasured millions of women' revelation! Why have you never mentioned this before?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Many women have never experienced orgasm much more than you describe, according to renown research and reality, but it is possible to achieve for most any woman. If you have never "felt the earth move with your man," perhaps he is inexperienced or simply not skillfully using the right techniques. One of the best ways a man can bring his woman to orgasm is cunnilingus, preceded of course, by plenty of foreplay. The following was written nearly a year ago. See if it resembles your partner's oral stimulation.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and.html
All my adult life, my favorite thing is to help women enjoy sex more, often for their first big orgasms. Many have told me this description really helped.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): You say you have tried everything, but maybe you or your partner are doing something wrong, for instance let me tell you a personal experience, that happens to me sometimes if my clitoris is not properly stimulated, most times with the use of my partners tounge and if i am not fully aroused, i have noticed that if i am not, fully aroused or VERY stimulated, my orgasms are just as you described or none at all, if you noticed how i stressed on the very, another thing is that i can only get an orgasm through certain positions, so as alot of people, or through other ways! I dont know if you have tried certain creams/gels to apply to your clit, which helps stimulate and gives a more refreshing orgasm. Not vibrators etc, so if you haven;t yet, why not give it a try, another important thing is that orgasms is not only reached through pleasure whether by intercourse, masturbating etc, the individual them selves also has an important role to play. So get in touch with your body, pay attention to which position touches the right spot, tell your partner to continue if he is doing something right, try not to concentrate on it too much. Think of something hot etc, use your muscle to grip his penis during penetration it helps. Good luck xxx hope this helps.
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