A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About six months ago, I found out my boyfriend was seeing another girl. In his defense, it wasn't physical, but he did lie to me about seeing her, and I knew he had feelings for her (gut feeling) though he swore he didn't. I was scared of being left, or hurt, so I left him.We cut off all contact. 24 hours later I found out they were a couple. Obviously this hurt, and later on the following day, I saw them kissing. They were only together for a few days, because the next time my ex and I spoke, he begged for me back and, maybe stupidly on my part, we did get back together. He apologised plenty, and I know he felt guilty, even though technically, I suppose he didn't really do wrong. And there is no doubt in my mind that he loves me, and I love him, too. The problem is, I don't know if I can get over it. I'm trying to. Since we got back together we've been fine, no problems, but little things like the image in my head of them kissing, still bother me. Is there anything I can do to get past this? Does it get easier? Does the trust come back? I know it's something I'll never forget but it feels like I'm thinking about it 23 hours a day.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Find a new boyfriend...Seriously! This goes for anyone reading this. If you ever get into a relationship where you think or know your other half has cheated then move on straight away! The longer you leave it the less time your going to have to find mr/mrs right.
If you want to know who mr/mrs right is then they will be the people which will never have to say sorry to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): I think you must first stop and try to resolve the problem and get answers as to why he cheated on you in the first place! You shouldn't move on if you aren't healed deep inside. You need answers!! Because if you didn't then you wouldn't be so pondered and continuously hurting by his past actions. Don't invest more time into a relationship that is certain.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 November 2009):
First of all stop defending him. The more you defend him and not realize that he did do wrong, the longer this will gone on. He was seeing someone else. That's it. More than anything, I think you just need to talk to someone about how you feel. If you can talk to him, tell him that you're still uneasy about what happened, and that you need his reassurance. It will take time, but if you both spend time together, talk and he accepts that you need to be reassured, it will get easier. But the reason you can't really get past it is because you haven't accepted that he did a bad thing. One you've done that, you can move forward a bit more.
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