A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi please help- i recently saw a message my boyfriend sent to this girl saying nice photo how are you.I should say the message was private. He hasnt talked to her in a year and now out of the blue mailed her when she changed her profile pic on site. Is that appropriate for him to be saying that to another girl? He met her on a boys hol 3 years ago a week after we met and i never knew if he got together with her or not. I have to admit she did look stunning-shes foreign and tanned . Im white and on the heavy side.I also overheard him in another conversation saying how great french women looked. Why is he talking like this? Is he not happy with me or is it normal bloke talk? Do all guys comment to women (friends we'll presume) saying they look good? I changed my pic last week ironically too before she did and he didnt say a word to me. Please advise me -im upset. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 Well. I don't know. It's a good question. I think dumping a guy over something like this would be overreacting. If he keeps doing it, then you will have to do something about it.
But for now, just stay calm.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2012): Yes ditch him and be done with it, find a man who appreciates your clear skin and pretty hair and feature and likes curves.
I'm thin but not tanned if I had put on some weight I would not expect my boyfriend to like me any less as I am still the same shaped just bigger...
Tell him that you are thinking of trading him in for a more caring boyfriend before you make a final decision, say that you are thinking of finding a french man as they are so romantic and appreciate of all womens beauty...wait to see his jaw drop I hope. Not kidding actually try this would love to hear about what he says/does!
You dont need to give away that you saw the message. But can be mysterious.
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A
female
reader, eri_sunshine  +, writes (27 January 2012):
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Boys will be boys- they will always comment (and won't really be aware if it offends you) and look at other girls, but you have to realize that although the guy might have a fleeting thought of "She's pretty" , you're the one he actually loves! All is girls talk about other guys sometimes to our friends or talk about celebrities or models who are hot.
I've been in your place before! People do tend to think its overreacting but I know it doesn't feel nice! My boyfriend has done the same thing, messaging a girl and telling her that her new picture is nice while saying nothing to me. But in the end, he loves you, and thinks that you're hotter than any of those girls! Don't worry!
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A
female
reader, bardia  +, writes (27 January 2012):
 Ditch him. Do not compete with any other women, real or virtual. If a guy truly loves & respects you he will do everything he can to prove it. Do not waste your life on someone who is looking all around so obviously at other women. Men commit to & respect the women they love. How hurtful to hear his fetish for French women. Yes, we're not dead & can appreciate attractiveness & beauty when we see it. My ex used to talk about Russian women like that & he also posted those kinds of comments on the pages of women he'd meet in social networking sites (including a fetish site). Do not tolerate it. Find someone who appreciates you & lavished those kinds of comments on you. We're about in the same age category. I'm telling you, hold out for respect because it's out there.
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