A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend cheated on me back in October, two girls in two nights, and I still haven't gotten over it.I told him I forgive him, because I love him, but since then it hasn't been the same.I really want to get over this, but I don't know how.
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female
reader, karen xo +, writes (1 June 2009):
Hi.I really feel for you.my boyfriend and I broke up last year and I through him out of the house.We were arguing all the time and he lied to me about money.It probably wasnt even a week that we were apart and he started dating someone else.In the mean time though we had begun to talk things through and I didnt know he had met someone else.Anyway,I found out and went nuts.I called the girl (against my better judgement) and told her what had been going on. A bit mental I hear you say but I took him back after a lot of him begging,plus I still loved him. Its been a year since and we are living together again. But I still think about it everyday. He really is trying but I feel so insecure now and I know I make things hard for him at times. It still breaks my heart and it still makes me angry and at times I wonder if Ill ever get over it. What is working better for me lately is that I try to think of how good hes been since and how I cant fault how he treats me. And even when I do bring it up (cause i still do) he begs me to forget about and gives me the cuddles and the answers I need. Its really hard at times and sometimes I wonder where Id be now if Id have let him go. I just hope that one day its not a thought anymore and I learn to trust him again,but right now I really dont no. I hope you feel better though knowing that your not the only one and your not crazy. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): I am in the same situation my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me...he didnt sleep with the girl but just as bad he put time and emotion into it... he meet her and was sneaking behind my back to see her almost every night for over a month... They ended up making out but that didnt hurt me as much as the emotions and the fact that even though i wanted to do something he would tell me an excuse and leave to go with her... I dont want to say leave but ask yourself what would make you cheat on a man that you love and want to spend you life with it would take a lot wouldnt it?... well that is what it SHOULD take for him to do that to you so really you know something went wrong with how he was thinking of you relationship... Its been almost a year since this has happened to me and i still think about it today from time to time..you dont want to make a mistake that you will have to suffer with... I am not saying that a man cant change cause my boyfriend really truly has but it has taken almost a year and i still get feeling of doubt and think that he doesnt love me or what am i doing wrong... but if you want to stay with him you have to be strong and not bring it up when your mad or throw it in is face cause you staying with him you are accepting the fact of what he did and that will only show that you arent doing your part in the forgiving and forgetting (i dont like the word forgetting cause in all honesty you'll never forget Its more like moving on and putting it in the past).. you need to learn to both be able to talk about it and figue everything out why it happened what he was feeling where things went wrong and you both cant get mad if he cant man up to what he did then thats when you know its never going to work out cause that means that he's not sorry and doesnt want to make it work and you need to leave... cause him telling you the REAL reasons is the first step to trust and rebuilding again cause really after someone cheats the trust and realationship needs rebuilt... It will take a while before you can forget(not think about it all the time) but if you really want to stay you have to forgive.. if he is serious about moving on with you and changing you bring it up or throwing it in his face will only bring him down and make him think that hes not making you happy and he could give up... Talking is the key you need to talk about feelings and mostly the good feelings... I dont want you to think that you need to just write it off like he didnt do anything or that you cant feel sad and mad cause you both know that it happened and hurt...but its there is a time period for everything.. first you are hurt and cant believe it happened you want to think it didnt... then reality sets in and you are pissed at him more so then hurt... then there is the constant thinging about it and tring to figure out why and blaming yourself (WHICH U SHOULDNT CAUSE U DIDNT DO ANYTHING) then there is the forgiveness or the SEE YOU LATER...like i said if you really want to be with him just know that it will take a long time to heal it wont just go away over night... you just have to be strong and really be able to convince yourself not to think about it... good luck with what ever you decide hope this helps
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 he doesn't love you. I don't think he even cares for you.
So let him and the relationship go. you deserve better.
it will be hard cause you love him, but you have to love yourself more and know that there is someone out there who will respect you and treat you right
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): this man has no respect for you. he is not even remorseful at his wrong doing.
he will do it again, the question now is, WHEN?
And are you going to stick around to find out? There is now no trust in this relationship, and he is not willing to work on this relationship with you. He is giving you an answer, loud and clear. You just need to hear it and make a hard decision.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I asked him why he did it and he said 'it was nothing, i was just angry at you' and i told him it was no excuse, and why did i make him angry and he said 'i've forgotten about it so why can't you?' and totally ignored the question, which leads me to believe he only said i made him angry as an excuse.
ive asked him many times since then and hes even told me he doesnt regret doing it but he loves me.
i also said 'so if i did that to you, youd take me back too?' and he said he didn't know..
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female
reader, mistakentragedy +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I know exactly how you feel. The one thing I did to get over the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me was I asked God to help me forget. And slowly I began to get over. I'm not a complete religious person, but I know when I need help. I also asked myself if he's done it again since he did it before. You just need to ask yourself if it's something you can get over. Is it something that you love him enough to forget. You'll find the answer within' yourself.
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 3 Cheers for KellyXXX!
This guy is a creep, and very lucky that you have even stuck around.
I could almost understand if he really screwed up one night, but two nights? In a row? For all you know he's been doing this every weekend since.
A realtionship is nothing without trust. Is he doing anything to gain it back from you? What were his reasons even? If you can't get past this (and you have no reason to) then I would move on and leave him. Why should you suffer so long for his actions? You deserve much better.
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female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (23 March 2009):
its always hard when you really love the person, but you have to think for yourself and whats best for you overall and from what youve said hes not really worth your love. if he wanted it and wanted a future with you he would never of cheated in the first place, im not a judgemental person but i do believe that one mistake is bad but two? unforgivable. What sort of excuse did he give you? i know love can affect you in many ways but i dont think his heart is 100% in it and so you dont have a future with him. the past does not go away, its there for a reason, let him learn from it, be the stronger one for yourself and walk away. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Why do you want to get back with a man who cheated on you with TWO girls? Of cource your not going to get over it, it's always going to be there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): if you can't get over what he did then that means you're not ready to trust him again and,frankly,he gave you a very good reason not to.i hate to say it but most of the time,once your partner has cheated on you,they're bound to do it again.if your gut says not to trust him,then don't.you deserve better than someone who cheats on you and doesn't make you feel safe and secure.leave him and move on to someone who can appreciate you and love you properly.he's not worth any of your time or affection.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I wouldn't waste your energy trying. I think you are being brave considering it - its not like you have children to consider? My gut instinct is that once might have been a 'mistake' - but twice in two nights? No. You really could do better than be forced to swallow your pride and try and forgive him. Walk away - that will help you keep your self esteem in tact and demonstrate you are the bigger person.
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male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (23 March 2009):
 2 girls in 2 nights?
I'd say ditch the man and find someone who respects you!
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female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (23 March 2009):
 well once trust is lost it is very hard to be regained!!
are you sure you want to get back with a man who has cheated on you? he obviously had no respect or love for you so why do you want to be with him?????
once a cheat always a cheat...leopard never changes its spots!! he fooled you once dont give him the oppotunity to fool you again.x
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