A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have a problem can you assist me? I am a 20 year old in a relationship with a 30 year old guy. The problem is that he is 'married'. Now I don't want you to judge me but I am crazy about him and his wife knows about us. However it's driving me crazy the way he is right now. You see, he recently found out that she was cheating on him for the past two years (we are together for one year). Ay first he wanted to leave her but then he has doubts saying that it could probably be just a big lie but the facts are right in front of him. I know I might be thinking selfish right now but I really think he should leave her. What should I do just sit and see him in agony every day? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Straight Up  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 i don't really understand what you mean about the wife knows about you and her husband. as for your question it's easy for you to think he should leave her obviously you don't really want to share him with her do you. but it's not really about what you think because at the end of the day your not the one making the decision. when people do get married the presume there going to stay married for ever so its not really a easy thing for him to just leave her.
right now i think you should tell him what you think then allow him to come to his own conclusion apart from that you can't really do anything as you are the other women
if you need to talk one on one send me a private email
goodluck
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 July 2007):
 Sounds to me as if he still has feelings for his wife. If he loved you and heard about her infidelity then it would be the perfect excuse for him to end the marriage and be with you permanently but he hasn't done that. He's hung in there "hoping" it was all lies, blinded regardless of the facts in front of him. Are there any children involved here?
I don't think he'll ever leave her for you, you are second best here and according to what you write, you always will be. I know it's not what you want to hear and despite what people usually advise when someone gets involved with a married partner there are a small percentage that DO leave their wives/husbands, unfortunately in your case, I don't think this will be one of them.
Eve
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