A
male
age
30-35,
*ermaineh
writes: Hi I am asking for help because last night I had a dream that really scared me. Now this is kind of embarrassing because it is so odd, but it is now making me wonder if I am gay.Previously I have asked for help on this site because I have had issues over my sexuality, but they had seemed to have gone away, until now. I still haven't had strong feelings for a girl for over a year, but there haven't been any feelings of attraction toward men. But last night I had an odd dream where I had a man tied up and was in a sexual position with him but I did not have an erection, neither was I actually having sex with him, but it was so odd and I do not know what to make of it. Any help would be much appreciatedJermaine
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (7 July 2007):
Maybe you just haven't kissed the right girl yet. Attraction and chemistry are big factors in making someone feel connected and interested in another person. You say you have had some bad experiences with girls in the past, I don't really know what those were, but there can also be bad experiences in gay relationships as well. The same drama goes on in all of them. Just find a gal you click with, and take it slowly. Not everyone falls in love immediately, like fireworks. Especially when you've been hurt or disappointed in the past. You may feel more vulnerable so allow yourself time to develop your feelings for another person slowly.
A
male
reader, jermaineh +, writes (7 July 2007):
jermaineh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the replies this has really put my mind at ease.Especially what you said eve, i do have some issues with my relations with the opposite sex and with my masculinity. Ever since i had a couple of bad experiences with girls, i have found myself feeling as though i will never find a girl and i do believe that my greatest fear is being gay. And in my world that is a show of un-masculinity for some reason.And i don't understand why, i think its because of the ridicule i think i would recieve if i was gay. But why i find it so odd that i feel like this is that i treat and view gay people exactly the same as straight people.I have kissed girls over the last year, but not had strong feelings as though i want to be with them all the time, as i have had in the past. And although i have enjoyed kissing girls and it hasnt felt wrong as i would imagine it would feel to a gay person, i have felt no connection.If anyone could help me to understand my feelings i would appreciate it so muchThanks againJermaine
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (5 July 2007):
Dreams are nothing more than our subconscious "blender" whirling together thoughts, images, events, people and things we have seen, heard about, thought about, read about, watched on TV and daydreamed on. I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about anything you've dreamed about because you will find that your dreams cannot always be connected to reality. So relax, enjoy the "show" our subsconscious minds create at night while we're sleeping, but when the morning comes, get up, go about your day and don't worry about the hidden messages in your dreams. There aren't any. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 July 2007):
If you view yourself as heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, it signifies not necessarily homosexual desire, but an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be more in touch with your masculine or feminine side. It could be that you have some fears/anxieties about your masculinity. It may be too that you may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex.
A more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love, a want to be with someone.
Eve
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