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male
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anonymous
writes:I would be grateful for some outside opinions on something that has been bothering me.Earlier in the year I moved in with my boyfriend and since then have been quite annoyed with how much attention he gives his dog. I'll come right and out and say it - yes I am jealous of the dog!I never get his undivided attention for any length of time as the dog is always there wanting and getting his attention and affection. I don't expect him to ignore his dog but it would be nice for him to be just focussed on me sometimes.The deep down annoyance in all of this is that I think the dog might be the number one in his life, with me coming in at number two. I am not sure if this is the case but I suspect it and that really hits me hard.Am I being unreasonable? He has had the dog for like a decade, whereas I have only been on the scene for two years. Now just to let you know I love animals and pets and always treat them very well (but "people" who are important to me always come first).Hit me with what you think people!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for those who have given advice. I have made enormous amounts of effort with the dog - to the extent that I now walk the dog more than he does.
Walking the dog together used to happen all the time before we moved in together. However now if I say I'll take the dog for a walk then he's not interested in coming. If I said I wasn't he would instantly take the dog for a walk, yet if I said I'd come too his usual response would be that if I want to go for a walk then I can take the dog for one. Sort of like all that matters is that the dog gets a walk, and that there is no point in us both going. Then sometimes I have received the insult that he'd rather it just be him and the dog on the walk so they can spend some time together! How privlidged some are.
xxxsoulsistaxxx you are right - it was just him and the dog for a long time. I don't think he'd ever leave the dog out. It always has to be wherever we are. I do realise this is the way dogs like it but it gets on my nerves sometimes as he is constantly thinking about the dog and what it wants.
I'll bring this up one day although I'm not too sure how it will go down.
A
female
reader, keepitreal +, writes (7 September 2006):
I think you have a right to be jelous, because us women love attention, but its a dog, join the love between them too and he will notice you more P.S a dog is a mans best friend
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 The only thing you can do is talk to him about it. This animal has been part of his life for a long time and has probably been there when he had no one else, so maybe he's used to giving the dog all the attention! Anyhow, if this is causing problems for you, you need to tell him.
Now I understand it may sound a bit strange coming out and telling him that. Do it subtly: a couple of time a week when you want the attention, tell him to leave the dog in it's bed downstairs and you two go upstairs and have a whole night together, no tv: just you two focussing on each other.
People do get very attached to animals and this bond is very hard to break. I'm not telling you that you need to break this bond, you just maybe need to break it to him gently that maybe he needs more human interaction every once in a while! Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): I can understand him Loving his dog. He has been part of his life for 10 years. The line should be drawn though.
Have you told him how you felt? I can totally understand how this would annoy you. You need to sit your BF down and explain how you feel. You should do it gently as this is going to be a sensitive subject for him, obviously. Try and not hold this against the dog though as he/she is innocent, and dogs do sense tension. You could also try and participate with him and his dog, such as going for a walk together and this way you are spending time with your BF as well.
Communication is the Key!
Good Luck Hun :)
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