A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I never seem to find anyone that meets or is even close enough to what am looking for in a guy. My present boyfriend is unemployed and I feel he isn't making any attempt to get out of his present situation. My ex was opposite, hard working but not a very sincere person. I find myself looking beyond and saying maybe the problem lies with me. Maybe there is no one out there that has a clean slate or even close to ideal. A perfect guy is far from what I need but perhaps I am still a bit naive to think there is someone out there near perfect. What do you all think?
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male
reader, wildman  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 You sound like a stripper I used to email regularly and see once in a while. Please don't get mad at the comparison because I only mean the dissatisfaction with guys part only. I think she thought all guys were just there for her use and then they could be tossed out when they did not react exactly as she wanted.I have always felt that people don't really change much throughout their lives, just make minor adjustments in order to satisfy their needs. You might want to think about making some minor adjustments to your wish list if you want a long term relationship. I don't think life is very near perfect anyway and differences in people make it more interesting. good luck
A
male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I think that you may be one of those people who has trouble finding the right relationships to be in. All people are diffrent, and finding the perfect person in your own life is a cliche. The key is finding the perfect person for you. No one walking this earth is perfect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Hlskitten has done her usual job of giving a good answer. The trouble is, finding Mr exactly right is only half the problem. Although you might have your list of boxes to tick, in all probability he'll have one too, and the chances of both of you finding Mr/Mrs *exactly* right is a bit of a lottery - with about the same chances of winning it!I'm not saying you should lower your expectations so much as make them just a little bit flexible, and if he is too you might just be able to each bend a little and try to work on any relationship issues.Good luck in your search though - plainly you could do better than what you've got at the moment.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 HiIm with you on this, know exactly where you're coming from. And i too, have wondered if i'm asking for the holy grail! But i wouldnt want to be with someone that doesnt work, ive been there, done that in the past. Got out of it. Ive always been lucky enough to be with decent guys really, but am yet to settle down with mr right.Too fussy? maybe. But whats wrong with having a tick list of priorities? I dont really mind if they bite their toe nails or grind their teeth when they are asleep (im deaf in one ear, i wouldnt hear it anyway) but i do have other things that are important to me. I look at other women, even my own sister, and wonder why they seem so happy with someone for 10+ yrs.Then i wonder if maybe they are just very UNfussy. The oposite way. I believe we all have to make compromises, and no one is perfect of course, its just real hard to find the kind of person that has the important things to ME.Tricky one isnt it.I think it gets harder as you get older too. At the moment, i have my 2 kids and really dont mind being single, but im sure that wont be the same in say 5 yrs time. Bit worried about being 'left on the shelf' then as they say!C xxxxx
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