A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey , Big confusion..Me and this guy have had an of on thing for a while but it recently just fazed out.His behavior towards me is very strange at the moment though, when he speaks to me he will say sexual comments to me, then he will ask about my life and this is where it gets confusing he always comments on how i would make a good wife and how he wants me to move in with him ... yet the other night he was saying all this he was talking to his friend and i heard him say he will see if can find someone better first, which i can only assume its about me as it was just after we talked :/ Sometimes hes interested then hes not so i will get with other people but as we hang around in a small group are his/my friends. it sounds bad but i never know if he likes me or notWhat do you think this guys thinking when it comes to me ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): He doesn't think he wants to settle down with you, but he would gladly keep you as a friend to fuck on the side.
A
female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (25 June 2011):
Hi,
Really sorry to hear you are going through this at the moment.
I think that the most strategic thing you could do is ask his/your friend whether he has said anything about you - this way you are not informing the person that you overheard. (Dont get yourself a name as an eavesdropper).
In honesty though, it is most likely one of two things.
Either he is interested but doesnt want something serious such as a proper full on relationship. Perhaps he is only sometimes interested because sometimes he is more interested in catching up with other people/ mates. Like how a couple seperates at a party to chat to people alone.
Or,sadly, perhaps he is not that keen on you. A lot of men, when they are around a woman and are engaging in sexual flirtation will make additional comments they feel the woman may like to hear - speaking of marriage and moving in with him - your message seems to convey you saw this as a positive step forward on his part so it make have 'worked' eh?
But, it was talk - during flirtations. He did not ask you outright and in all seriousness to move in etc. (right?)
So perhaps you should accept it for what it was - talk. And with this - perhaps you should accept that he is not that interested. If he was keen, wouldnt he show it? Think logically please (I mean that in no disrespect), if he was serious about you, he would act serious about you. It seems he may be thinking you are, yes interesting, but not overtly so, enough that he would want to commit.
I really hopes this helps and saves you some additional heartache.
In the past I have seen this and experienced it on occasion, and im sorry to say, the guy usually keeps the girl on his playing field, and then one day meets someone who catches his attention so much in a different way that - wow, suddenly he is dating her and he is serious!
Love can suck that way, but hang in there and know that there is a man, if not plenty of men, out there who will actually cause you to never wonder this question you've posted because you'll know what hes thinking and it'll be something great!
(Alternatively, ask him outright what is going on and what he is thinking with regards to you - athough im guessing if you hadnt ruled this out as an option you'd of already done this and wouldnt have posted!!)
:)
Much love.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your feed back! i just over heard him saying that when he was with his friend so its possible i heard it wrong but i don't want to lie to myself about it. Its weird because the way he acted before it seemed to be a lot to do with sex. We have grown to know each other more now, he flirts with me but has started talking about me moving in with him at uni and how i would make a good wife/mother. we grew apart because he was seeing someone for a little while. The best way to put it is: He talks to me about the future us but not the current us. Im confused because strangers ask if we are together or will make a cute couple remark so ive started questioning it :/
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 If you're SURE that his comment to his friend about seeing if he could find someone better first was about you, then it seems he's not really all that keen.
Having said that, however, were you and he out somewhere with his friend, or was this something you somehow overheard while he was on the phone with the friend?? I ask because it's all too easy to overhear part of a conversation and to get quite the wrong impression.
The only other thing is you say you've had an on and off friendship for a while, which has recently fazed out. How has it fazed out? Doesn't he call you so much as he used to or take you out on dates? I guess your real clue is to look at how his behavior has changed recently, and that should give you an idea of what's going on - unless you feel like coming out and asking him directly how he sees you friendship, and express your own thoughts and wishes to him.......
...............................
|
