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age
26-29,
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writes: I know that I have posted a similar question before, however I need further advice.I have known this guy for about three years and been emailing literally every day late 2011 - early 2012. Then in the spring we had no contact at all really for a year. I had no idea where we stood considering he bugs me and he's just confusing to me and weird (hence why I am asking about this matter online). So when we made eye contact, he was smiling and I gave him one back. So I took his glasses and just moved it to the other room :P.I get an email saying that I highjacked his glasses."Oh blah you have no proof!""I saw you take them!"Then we were back to emailing but we can't email everyday like we did in 2011 because of his and my circumstances. So out of of no where he says:"Can I ask you a question? It's one of those awkward ones and yet funny at the same time type of questions. Already knew what he was going to say, but put "Sure, shoot"."Do you have a crush on me?""How long have you had this question?""Since about six months after I moved in the neighborhood"I then explained how it has been years since I have had a crush and why it's been so long.The last crush I had was in 5th grade (I'm 17 now). Continuing on saying I can't answer him fairly and I just don't want to lose what we have. (because I was afraid if he did like me, then crap I let him down :( but if he didn't like me I didn't want it to be weird and stuff because the girls that have known him for a while...it seems like he always gets what he wants.)Then he proceeds to tell me that he's sorry how people treat me and If he ever does hurt my feelings to please let him know. He loves having me as a friend and was just curious cause that is what it seemed like to him. Then says to clarify that I don't have a thing for him.I then told him it is too soon to tell. (cause the older I get, the harder it is for me to like someone that way. Its just the way it is sadly.) Then I said maybe if he was a friend a long time ago and still on a good note. Maybe.He then says "Friends! :D I always enjoy talking to you and I appreciate you asking me how I was doing while I was away. Thanks! I'm relieved that you don't have a crush on me. It just shows that your not one of those girls that sees someone good looking and gets infatuated without even knowing the person. THANK GOODNESS! alrighty now that that’s all cleared up I will talk to you later ttfn.why would he even ask in the first place? It's not like I flirt with him or anything like that. The girl that has known him for 10+ years said it could be because he needs his ego higher or he's hoping you like him too or he plans to make fun. However him and her haven't been talking in like a year. I talked to him recently and he says that he treats all girls the same, which he said is quite bad because he admitted to have a flirtatious personality when it comes to girls which he's trying to work on. So if it seems like he's flirting he's not its just how I present myself which is jacked up cause he doesn't want it to seem like he's flirting. He just views it as being nice. The show-off side of him he says he is also working on.PLEASE READ: I did not know where we stood at all, three days later after this was all on chatting/emailing, I saw him and every time we would make eye contact he smiles really big and such so I know we are good now. Need your input. Thanks!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 April 2013):
 So how is he , shy and quiet around girls, or a big flirt and a show off with everybody ? Pick one :).
Look, obviously you are looking for a different answer than those you got , one to confirm you that in fact he may like you romantically. Now, while personally I don't see that at all from what you wrote, who knows , you might know better, you must have a gut feeling , a hunch that perhaps is not based on wishful thinking but on keen female intuition. BUT, if he is the shy and withdrawn type who never would tell if he likes a girl etc...
then you clearly have only one course of action to find out how things are. I mean, if you are so sure that even liking you he'd NEVER say it first... then, you will have to be the first to tell him, right ? You'll have to tell him, You know, after our exchange I got thinking and I have to retract my statement, I think in fact I may have come to like you as more than a friend. And see what he says.
Otherwise, how are you ever going to find out ?
This, assuming that you do have a crush on this guy , which tbh you never openly say in your post... then again, if you did not have a crush, why would you even care what he thought , meant , implied etc..? If you don't want anything other than friendship from him, as long as he gives you friendship , all's cool , no need for mind reading...
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 April 2013):
Yeah you are overthinking this. Sure,it happens that people may say one thing and mean another , but you have to go by his actions, and if his actions are to be frendly-flirty to all the girls he knows including you, then you have to take him at face value : he only likes you as a friend, he is relieved that you don't have a crush on him - because it is awkward when your friends are crushing on you and you don't requite their feelings, it spoils the fun, the mood and the friendship.
He might have got the doubt that you are crushing on him ... because he sounds like a vain guy:) who thinks everybody can't but like him, and because of the glasses thing, that's just the kind of cutesy joke that MAY mean : hey look at me, I want to get your attention .
Enjoy your lighthearted fun and banter ( if you do enjoy it, that is ) without too many mind trips ... and just in case he did not say the whole truth and actually has a romantic interest in you, then let HIM step up his game, let HIM find a way to get you intrigued and not viceversa. It would do him a lot of good, he needs to figure out that, if he does like a girl, telling her Oh thanks God you don't have a crush on me is really not the smoothest move, lol .
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A
female
reader, Dayzee  +, writes (14 April 2013):
You sounds like you are doing your own head in with all the speculation. If he wants you for a girl friend he will let you know. I think from your letter he said, "Just friends". You can't make it more by turning it over and over in your head.
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