A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a serious relationship for 16 months now and everything has been perfect. We never argue, enjoy each others company. Have lived together since August and continually talk about our future together. This morning however, he popped out to work on his bike. Hes just had a ned phone so I started to transfer all his data to the new one. I had the shock of my life. In his picture folder was a separate folder containing explicit pictures of him and his ex. I confronted him as soon as he got home. He told me that this was still on his phone in error as he hadn't given her a second thought. This girl was stunning which has made me feel hideous! He's been crying all day begging me to let him put things right but all I see when I look at him is them together and I feel angry. I know that part of this of my own insecurities and deep down I think I do want to make it work. I can't get it out of my head! He told me that he forgot to delete then but I'm worrying he's been using them to masturbate? He's never acted in a suspicious way so I know he hasn't cheated. Everything has been so perfect but now I'm worried I'll never look at him the same. His do I get over this? Help!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 April 2012):
Well I for one believe him… I don’t recall all the pics on my phone or my computer.
You worry that he’s using them to masturbate… well hon, he’s a shock for you… he was there when all those pictures were taken and he has those images in his head anyway… who needs pictures.
YOU are very very insecure and need to figure out a way to let this go…. I strongly suggest that if you value your relationship wth this man that you get into some therapy pronto to deal with retroactive jealousy. Since Jealousy is totally an emotion rooted in insecurity, you need to work on your self-esteem.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater….
A
female
reader, reema99  +, writes (2 April 2012):
I think u need to go away for few days u'll miss him and know that he didn't do anything wrong and u'll live hapily aver after :p
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (1 April 2012):
 A male friend of mine told me once " for every gorgeous hot chick out there in the world, there's a guy somewhere who's sick of having sex with her "
This has a lot of truth to it hun !
Give the guy a chance to make things right. Just be happy together. Isn't that why you wanted him in the first place? xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Just make sure theyre deleted now
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): That is a true sign of trust because if he had something to hide from you he would have never let you transfered his data. I'm sure he forgot to delete the picture. I have so much stuff on my phone that I've forgotten it's on there. Just because he has a picture of his ex on his phone doesn't mean jack squat, maybe they broke up as friends and as long as he doesn't give you any reason not to trust him then leave the man alone!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Oooops! If you had been snooping and found them. That would have looked very suspicious on his part. But if he gave you his phone to sort out for him. Then I am sure he is telling the truth and had forgotten they were even there. Seeing sexual images of your partner with someone else can be very shocking and distressing. No one wants to see pictures of that stuff! It can feel as if you are witnessing him cheating but you have to remind yourself it was in the past before he met you. It will upset you for a few days but try not to let it spoil things for you both. A lot of it will be jealousy because you feel she was better looking but if she was that great, how come he is crying because he doesnt want to loose you?
Just be honest with him and tell him exactly how this has made you feel, try to be receptive to his response and his apology. It doesnt sound as if he is guilty of anything more than being forgetful. It would be a shame to let this incident ruin things.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 It seems like a genuine mistake. Don't jump to conclusions, I'm sure he wasn't masturbating to them, I doubt if the thought even entered his head!
Remember that no matter how stunning his ex was, she is not a part of his life now, YOU are. You mean the most to him and that's all that matters.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (1 April 2012):
 Do you remember all the pics you have on your phone? I don't, and rarely go through them. It is very possible he just forgot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): I think it was a real mistake, but spend a few days away from him (after you tell him you think it was a real mistake) to cool off. Then you can forgive him. Say "i believe you in that it was an honest mistake, but I'm still really mad and just freaked out so i need a few days to cool off. I'm going to go to my moms/friends house for the weekend just to calm down"
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (1 April 2012):
 If he's deleted them after this discovery, you should take this as a sign that it was a mistake and that he wants to focus on you alone. I think it was genuine and that you shouldn't hold him past life against him.
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