A
female
age
36-40,
*inderela
writes:Hi I need Advice here is the case:before 4 years my BF and I were together for about a year then I got pregnant.That time he didn't have job I have a job, he told me we gonna be together and he will do his best to get a job, a give birth and after a year and half I begin to see him with another girl hugging her.Went to party together I ask him about that, he told me they are just friend.We argued, I told him that it hurts me when I see him with her he promised me he will tell her that he is going to stop his friendship with her, but after a while I saw them together and when I asked him, he said she is a good friend. he said he couldn't just stop friendship. He said he can't just dump her.Then we start to argue. After a while his friend told me that he told his friend his friendship with the girls is over and that he has no feelings for her.I ask him by myself. His words were heartbreaking.Then I ignore him no phone no talk even when I meet him on street.When I see him hug her it hurts meHe told every one that she is his friend nothing more than that, her house is near my house where I live with my family all my family friend watch that.It demoralizes me, then after two years, I got a call from a friend who know us, then when I went there he was with her.She told me that we have to at least talk not just ignore each other, then he say how he is sorry to hurt me how it is painfull for him not to be with his daughter.He said he needs me to forgive and his mind is not normal, he is hurt because I ignore him....., and he is going to be my best friend he is going to there for me like his own sister, not let any one to hurt me. Then I told him how hurt I feel when I saw him with her, how she over acts on me when she is with him especially when I'm with my family, around my home.Then he was crying when I told him this, and I told him I can forgive, and GOD pay him for what he have done, and let us be friends. After a week I meet him on street around my family home where I live and the girl lives, I say hi an he give me hug and I know he is waiting for her though He begun walking then she come and I was there.He hugged her and they walk. Ohh I can't sleep, it hurts, after I told him how it hurts me when I see him with her , especially around my house, how it hurts me seeing him hug her, and promise me he will not hurt me again I was almost crying and makes me to remember the past again.What should I do? Do I have to Ignore him like I used, forget every thing about him again I decide to tell him this. why did he ask me an apology if he is going to do what hurts me?Still confused.
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female
reader, SexyC  +, writes (1 October 2012):
I pray for u because it is hard to be with someone and they just walk away. Being that the two of you have a child together I feel that it is a good idea to talk to him and have him take care of the baby. If u can not stand to see him or be around him have your family memeber or his pick the baby up so that he can spend time. As I said its gonna hurt and hurt for awhile but keep your head up and things will get better. Writeing helps me alot so keep a journal and clear your mind.
A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (22 September 2012):
If he cared about you he would quit friendship with this girl since it hurts you a lot. Looks like this relationship isnt getting anywhere. Make up your mind to move on without him, concentrate on other things, and you will meet a nice man.
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A
female
reader, 1busybee +, writes (22 September 2012):
You need to move on. You said you are pregnant that should be enough for you, lucky woman! You can immerse yourself in your work, your family for support, you have faith so attend church and speak to your pastor or priest, parenting classes (great way to meet a new friend male or other just friendfor coffee), take a class and constantly do nice things for yourself so that you are made whole and feel self worth, self love and finally gain the strength to realize that you and your child matter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): This is a very emotional time for you, you just had a baby. You bf who you loved and probably still do has now up sticks and got himself a new girl right on the same street as you..
I send you a hug... As I really do feel your pain.
What to do though that is the question... You cannot ignore him totally he is the father of your baby. And no matter the issues you both have he deserves to be a part of your/his daughters life. That means that he takes responsibility for this little miracle that he helped make and provides financially towards the baby and takes an active role in her care.. i.e. he takes baby for a few hours, twice a week, while you kick back and go out with friends.However being to involved and friendly is driving you insane. I feel you need to distances yourself somewhat emotionally from this guy and hold your head high, be strong. And look to involve yourself in some new hobbies.. And go out with friends.
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