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female
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*ech
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We started going out with each other when I was 13 and he was 16. We are very happy together. We moved in with each other when I was 16. In the first year of our relationship I cheated on him, because I didn't think it was going to last. Then 3 years later I cheated on him again. Then in the 6th year I did it again. I just can't help feeling like I have to cheat to make me happy. It's the thrill of being caught I think that I like so much, but I just dont know what to do anymore. Every time someone says they like me I feel bad because I can't go out with them, even though I am happy with my boyfriend. Please help me or just give me some advice to think about.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): Wut d hell is wrong wit u? Y would u do that to him wen all dat tym, he's forgiven for every time dat u cheated on him. It's not rily fair u know. Try to put urself in his position...forgiveness is not dat easy especially wen someone u rily care about and trust breaks this loyalty to you. I think u guys hav been 2gether for so long now that u should know dat u both are meant for each other...IF you love him, u will not try to him like that although I know how you feel wen u talk about d "thrill" I did that too and still there are times wen im tempted to do so, but hey, I think about his feelings. Besides, he and I havnt been going for as long as you guys have. Damn!!! All i know is dat i luv the guy...
- Sorrowanathema
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2006): This is so funny. A morally loose girl cheating and whoring around, and somehow people can justify it. Here is an idea. STOP. You obviously have no love for him so leave. People like you make me sick.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): helloi know how it feels bc i have cheated on my boyfriend before. i cheated on my boyfriend bc of a self-esteem issue. i was unhappy with myself at the time and i made myself feel better by receiving attention from other guys. I felt awful and was so emotionally distraught that i came out and told him. even though we broke up, it felt awesome to not have that weight burdening me everyday. my advice is tell him the truth and let him make the decision whether or not to be with you. it is unfair for him not to know and it is only hurting yourself. yes, he will be angry and disappointed, but if he truly loves you then he will be able to forgive you. once he forgives you do your best not to break his trust again. get it off your chest, trust me.
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male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (25 January 2006):
You cheat not because you are 'happy' nor do you cheat because of the so called 'thrills'. A lot of people fantasize when they make out, is that cheating? What the issue is: where do we draw the line of what constitutes cheating?
For reasons known to both of you only, you are having monotonous sex. It makes you happy but not content. Routine has set in. Its the same thing done and ingrained in your system. You are living the parts but not breathing life into them.
Sex is just sex. It ceased to be love making long time ago. Perhaps it never was. Just a strong attraction but less than love. Love making is like baking or cooking. You can whip up fish , chicken or beef or vegetarian dishes to the limits only of your imagination. I am pretty sure, he's doing something equally happy behind your back. So, in essence you are both cheating yourselves. You are creative enough therefore you go out of this monotony and indulge in sex. Creatively as you can and well enough for your partners to lay claim on liking you. They like what is being done to them. Perhaps you get them to do things to you too. Ever thought of taking this issue to a qualified sex therapist?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): You say you are 'happy' but to me, it appears to be the opposite, actually. Content, emotionally solid, happy women don't act out like this on the one they cherish and love, hun. You may have have grown bored and unhappy with this relationship you have with your bf. You both need to sit down and talk about your relationship. My guess is that you are a young woman who, feels alone, emotionally empty and unloved. You may look to other men to validate you, and you feel, being sexually available to others, is the quickest (and most short-lived) way to get a positive response and the attention you crave. You need to learn to be happy with who you are, first. I agree with 'eyeswideopen', you do have a self-esteem issue that requires immediate attention. See if the both of you can work out a plan to continue this relationship in a loving, respectful way with no infidelities, on your part. If this constant urge to cheat is disturbing to you...you could see a counselor. Good luck
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (20 January 2006):
 sounds like you crave attention, like maybe your getting off more on people wanting you than you wanting them! maybe eyeswideopen's comment about low self esteem is true or maybe you just have a huge ego , or maybe you just cant resist men giving you attention. but what you are doing is wrong and your boyfriend deserves better, i think you should come clean to him about your problem then its his choice to either stick with you and try and help you end this habit or to leave you, but its only far to let him have this choice knowing the facts...
its not like it just happend once and it soundslike you have ok'd it with yourself because thats what you like, so be fair to him and tell him
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 January 2006):
 Personally I think you have really poor self-esteem. You need counseling to prevent or deal with the lonliness your actions are going to bring you. And do the boyfriend a favor and cut him loose so he at least can get on with his life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2006): sweetie i know exactly how you feel. i was with my boyfriend from the age of 13 to 17..im now 18.while i was going out with him i slept with 2 people behind his back and kissed about 8! i loved the thrill of it and i wanted both excitment and security in my life. however i came home from work one day and he had read my diary!he knew everything and im telling you chic..if you carry on you will get caught. i regret so much what i did. noone even compares to him now. but if you marry him, you may want to cheat and its worse when youv got kids!weigh up both sides...fun and him and see which you lust after most.but im afraid to say..whichever you choose youll want the other.thats just the way some people are...and me and you are included.good luck babe!p.s dont tell himxx
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A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 January 2006):
 You have several answers to choose from, and yet you knew what we would say. You even told yourself this is wrong! Well I'm not going to say what the others have told you because they have great advice to. I am going to say that when I caught my x, I changed the locks, threw her stuff outside and closed off her money ties with me. She left the way she came into the relationship; with nothing. If you like thrills so much, try rollercoasters or even public sex; but definately not cheating. I feel sorry for your b/f and you owe him an apology.
Sincerely
Ed
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): Go into the porn industry. I think it suits you better. Or better yet, pick up some splintered wood and shove it into your boyfriend's heart. I think that'll pretty much make up what I want to say... [sigh] Kids these days. 13 year olds gang raping babies, 12 year olds getting pregnant, 13 year olds beating, raping, and robbing grannies. What is the world coming to?!?!
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female
reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (18 January 2006):
 Hey,
You have to stop what you are doing. Just imagine what you would feel like if you found out that your bf was cheating on you ................does'nt feel nice does it. If you dont think that you could be in a serious relationship then you might want to take a break but I think that you are going to get caught one day and just think of all the things you have to give up because of it, Your bf, love, home etc. Are you really willing to give up all of these things because of a 'thrill'. Ask yourself that question.
Good Luck and I hope you choose well.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): If you are so happy with your BF, then why on earth do you cheat??
My heart goes out to this guy! How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Think reasonnably about what you are doing here! You need to leave this relationship as it's totally unfair to him. He deserves better than this!!
Leaving him will give you the opportunity to see who-ever you want, when you want.
Least this will give him the chance to find someone who is going to be "faithfull" and truly love him for who he is!
If you want a thrill so much..take up skydiving!
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