A
female
age
36-40,
*arusso
writes: Ah! I think I just need some support. I believe I have been unlucky about guys since the second grade. lol. But the reason I am asking for help is not that. I have recently been dumped. I think it is for the better but I have a hard time keeping my mind off him despite his rude behavior. See he was one of those guys who was really nice at first and then started making rude remarks, telling me how I suck at things etc. So I tried to break up with him. He cried so much I felt really bad and I thought maybe he does care. He also said he doesn't understand why he takes his anger out on me and I don't deserve it etc. However, the finals week came and he did the same thing and I got so sad. He said he can't deal with it anymore so I agreed. I love him and I can't be with anyone else right now but I know it is not the right move to try to get him back. I just need some help to get me through this time. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 December 2010):
 You need to stay away from him. If you try to get him back, what happens to you has gone from his doing, to being your fault for knowingly putting yourself back in that situation. Why do you feel that would be okay? I believe you deserve so much better than what he has been giving you. You need to see that in yourself, and not accept anything less than what you deserve. He has no right to have treated you the way he did. You should be grateful that it is over, and that you can move on from this abuse, gather yourself back up and find someone who will love you for being you.
Never stay with someone who verbally or physically abuses you. That, you don't deserve.
A
female
reader, EJ  +, writes (23 December 2010):
Hi LarussonBe aware of the kind of language you use because it will come true. For example - "I have unlucky with guys". Change the language and things will look up. I promise you.Thank him for leaving you - he did a good thing. And you are lucky that he did not just drag you in a long-suffering relationship. There is a lot of pain - but this too is temporary - it will go away.Whenever a door closes - many more will open for you. See this as a period to re-assess your life and find yourself. Learn to be safe and happy just being you. Once you exude that vibration of confidence - the right man will come along. No one wants to be around someone who is down and always feeling unlucky - they can read that frequency. You don't want losers in your life do you? Trust me on this one.Have a magical life!
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